About Me

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
I am a lot of things - I am limited edition, not weird :) . A Christ Lover and a fashion lover. I love crime and comedy shows (or movies) .. and I always move on no matter what :)

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

What Are you Thankful For?

Thankful for my senses
For every touch,
every time I dance
love with all my heart
cry my glands out
thankful for color
thankful for sleep

Thankful for the seasons
for they remind me
the cold nights may seem long
but they ll only last a while
before my troubles melt
and my life shines so bright
Undeniably Illustrious
beauty defined colors

Thankful for family
for they are a rock
there so strong
the loudest cheerleaders in the world

Thankful for Friendships
for nights we laugh
and days we fight
for through the years
we grow a bond

Thankful for failed friendships
for the lessons they bring

Thankful for failures
because I can try again
even better... best

Thankful for the mornings
the sunrise
Pancakes or muffins
sunny-side up or scrambled
tea or juice
the refreshing taste of breakfast
a new beginning, new hope...
a chance to try again

Thankful for life
for oxygen, lungs
arteries and veins
working in coordination
for the heart and body.
For every morning
I can breathe ..
with life there is hope

The life I live
is not in my hands
slowly, firmly and beautifully
built- in progress-  by the Lord Most High
Thankful for salvation
to recognize Lord as God



 

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

In the Eyes of the Carpenter


This especially goes out to one of the instructors I met at Ateneo de Manila University, Ms. Ann. She is a counselor at the university. Like other counselors, she is like a "savior" to students: when students feel stressed from school or in their personal lives, they have the counselor's office to run to. In addition, she teaches a 100Level one-unit course that deals with integrating new students to the University and also touching base on everyday things - it's probably one of those fun free classes.We were given a tour round the office and saw some of the tools the psychologists / counselors use for productivity of their students. Ms. Ann was really nice and welcoming to us. Aside from the tour, she invited us to sit in on and talk in one of her classes. The students were in their first year of Business Engineering. They were quite engaging and generally, good students. We talked about the challenges we faced in our first year in relation to what they might be experiencing in school now. I enjoyed talking to them :) .

-PS. -- I actually don't mind public speaking to younger people lol 


Sorry guys, the pictures could have been of better quality but took them all by phone.

Talking to the Students.... erm, I love how they were paying attention ^_^

With Students ... 
Ms Ann, Exchange participant (German) - Berit, Yours truly, Paolo - the T.A. (Student Facilitator), Exchange participant (Indonesian)- Jeanny 

Anyways, that day, they touched on a topic that talked to me. The story in the land of "Stickcoco" (I made up the name - and all the other names too lol) . Below, I have paraphrased the story and changed it up a tiny tiny little bit.. hope you enjoy it.

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There was a  certain carpenter who made men out of wood. He had put some life into them and they all lived in the town of Stickcoco. They had a tradition in this town; Woodys were always assigned with stars or dots. A star was a good thing, very good. the more stars a woody got the more popular and accepting he was. A dot was not a good sign; no woody wanted dots.

They were assigned these marks based on their talents or looks. A woody that could sing or dance or play an instrument or was funny or exceptionally good at something was given a star. If the woody had more than  one talent or could do more than one thing, he got more stars. The more popular he was, the more stars he got. Some Woodys did not have to do anything, they were just good looking or dressed really well. The more others noticed their beauty, the more stars they got.

Dots were a symbol of failure,  mockery,  ugliness or anything that was not 'cool'. A clumsy Woody got a dot every time he got clumsy. An ugly woody got a dot every time someone called him ugly. If one was not accepted by a popular group, he would be stamped with a dot.. If one fails at a contest, he also got a dot.

There was a certain Woody named Hammer. Hammer always got dots. He thought he could be funny but no one laughed at his jokes- he got more dots. He tried to sing but they all said his voice was horrible and stuck more dots on him. Sometimes, when he tries to play with others, someone would call him ugly and plaster dots on him. Hammer became very unhappy. He was so upset  and wouldn't come out.

One day, a Woody named  Walnut came from the other part of town - really happy and satisfied but had absolutely no dots or stars. When other Woodys saw her, they thought she was beautiful and tried to stick some stars on her but they fell off. Some thought she was too happy hence proud, they tried to stick some dots on her but the dots fell off too .

When Hammer saw this, he watched the parts she crossed and went to wait for her the next day. He stopped her. "How come nothing sticks on you?"  He asked. "I won't let them, I don't care about their dots or stars" She replied.

Hammer was confused...  She continues .. " Well, I used to be like you with lots of dots and some stars and I wanted more stars. However, I became sad after a while because I started to get too many dots and no stars.. I went up to the Carpenter to help me .."

He interrupted her,"... The Carpenter? does he really exists? if he does, isn't he big and mean? were you not scared?"

Walnut smiled, some Woodys never believe her about the carpenter. "Hammer darling, he is real, I visit him everyday, the more time I spend with him, the better I know myself, the better I feel about myself. meet me here tomorrow at this time, come with me tomorrow.."  Walnut said this swinging and singing away.

At first, Hammer did not want to go but he figured he had nothing to lose. He was there the next day. He was scared, anxious, and felt worse because of all his dots.

"Hello, Carpenter? how are you today? I have a friend here with me" Walnut smiles as she seats at his feet. Hammer hid in the corner, afraid of what Carpenter will say, Walnut seems bold.

"I knew you were coming, I have been waiting for you. You see Hammer, dots and stars only stick if you believe what the other Woodys say about you. You have to let go of all those. Renew your mind. Come to me, I will help you.."  Carpenter said.

OM Goodness! he is real! wow!  Hammer comes closer, he starts to visit regularly and after a while, the dots started to fall off... he started to feel good about who he was. He began to realize that what the other Woodys said/say do not matter. What he thinks about himself and what the Carpenter thinks is what he should value..

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Was that too long??

You know, what God thinks of us should be our priority. What's the point of trying to please the world and hurting yourself all the time. oh boy, it can cause madness oh - calm down! you can't please them all.

Why Dots Can Affect Us:

- Dots can be anything from people talking bad about us, failure, unacceptance, depression, a sickness, frustration of unemployment or underemployment, bad memories (etc) Anything that wants to define us by fire by force. We should go to God with all these things, anything at all. God is able to do more. He can heal us and help us. We need to trust in him.

"Come to me, all of you who are tired from carrying heavy loads, and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11;28,  GNB)


- Dots can also affect us if we do not know who we are in Christ. If we base our standards or lives on what is more popular, it can be dangerous. We need to be bold and proud of our principles and faith. Knowing yourself in Christ helps to filter out "bad belle" ( unnecessary bad comments or attitude towards us). Wisdom is key though :)

"Do not conform yourselves to the standards of this world, but let God transform you inwardly by a complete change of your mind. Then you will be able to know the will of God—what is good and is pleasing to him and is perfect." (Romans 12:2, GNB)

I am sure there are other reasons but these are the ones that ministered to me.

It don't matter what you do or who you follow, you will still get dots!  and you can NOT please everyone. But we can live a good, happy and fulfilling life with God's help. Whether with dots or stars, God still always loves us just as we are and will help us to become better.
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ohh.. some pictures with myself, my friends and Ms. Ann... We bonded over dinner that evening.

again, sorry guys, the pictures could have been of better quality but took them all by phone...


Jeanny, Myself, Berit and Ms. Ann 
yay! Food!

It's common for Filipinos to eat rice with Fried eggs
Beef Adobo, rice and eggs 



I had some pasta - loved it 

Pork Adobo, rice and eggs 

some filipino made fish -- sorry, I can't remember the name :( 
Reppin' the University of Alberta with my top hehehe 

Thursday, October 17, 2013

NYSC

Why is it that NYSC can be such a pain? and what's wrong with a program that should be contributing to and improving the whole system in Nigeria?

The other night, one of my friends and I talked for a few hours about what's exactly wrong with Nigeria and we had to talk about NYSC. My friend said she thinks a lot of people have a strong tribalistic mindset and NYSC will always be a somewhat flawed system because every tribe thinks less of another tribe etc.

With the whole "yoruba people are this" and "igbo people are that" I can't even deny it but I still believe it could work.

The essence of NYSC is for young people to learn about other cultures and also to contribute to local communities (please correct me if I am wrong). It feels like it has lost this and now some sort of ritual that youths must go through every year and why is this? Well, how educated are people? how willing are the youths and what factors have been put in place to ensure these volunteers are comfortable? It is voluntary work and efforts should be put in to make volunteers feel apprciated.

I will tell you how it could work and why it might be a sort of "hopeful imagination"

Imagine that the government educates people of rural communities or villages about the role students will be playing? imagine that for one year or six months, students will be helping develop communities, for example, medical or general science students could educate about health, why people should eat healthy, how to live in a cleaner environment, how to prevent certain illnesses etc.

Some could educate teenagers and help prevent teenage pregnancies hence overpopulation. Education on HIV/AIDS and its prevention. Some could help with women and beauty- make up, fashion etc. some could help cook for poor people who might be struggling even for food.  Some could home school young children whose parents can't afford to send them to school. Some could clean. CLEAN the communities. Some could contribute in agriculture, why it is important and to encourage farmers- let the books meet with the farm land--  Finance and accounting students can educate them about how to be financially wise. I tell you, many people just need some sort of direction in this life.

I believe that if locals know this is for their own good, they will be more than happy to have NYSC candidates.

I think you get the idea. Students should be doing actual community work. Students should be in local communities for a "youth service" not a fancy company. OK, they are helping out in those companies too but what is the main purpose of NYSC ?

If the government was serious enough it could happen. How about talk to local communities first and let them know what they will benefit from this program? how about making sure students have a place to sleep and food to eat and some pocket money? How about make real "NYSC positions" and let students choose a 1st, 2nd and 3rd choice on things and what they would love to contribute in the communities. How about make sure these communities are safe and the people are accepting. If there is more work than students, then the government can make a priority list and work accordingly.

If this is to the betterment of Nigeria, this program could get sponsors. wait! I am almost too gaddamn  sure it would get lots of sponsors! y'all will see big companies and rich people throwing their resources in! hey, it makes them look good too! it looks good on their profile. Who doesn't want to be part of a good thing? tell me? everyone wins!

But then this could all be my "hopeful imagination" 

-- Are we sure the money sent in by sponsors would be used for the communities and / the NYSC students? or will our dear Nigerian government workers be eating out of the "national cake" ?

--- I have heard that NYSC is sometimes a way for students to get a job. If this works, then maybe students with little or no "connections" would have a more limited means of getting a full time job.

Those are my major concerns and to me, they are MAJOR! I do wish things would get better.... but then, hopeful imagination... right?

Maybe the time should be cut to 6 months and the other 6 months at a company or something in the student's field? maybe ?

Please let me know what you think. If you can, please let's do something about it! I wish the right officials will get to see this and I wish it gets them all thinking. This could work but then we need a government, leaders that would be accountable to our young new graduates...













 

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Look in the Mirror

Guess who is back? back, back? back again, gain
Shady's back back, back again gain. lol
Shady indeed :/


yup yup, I am back at home now!

It doesn't even feel like I left oh! nothing changed. Feels like I slept and had a very long dream, woke up and bam! I am in my room haha..

I really hoped to blog about my trip while away but internet connection was not strong. I often got frustrated and gave up. To be honest, there were some places with good connections but I also had to work on something else, sorry. -_-
................................................................................................................................................................
This continues my travel journal ........
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Anyways, the trip was one of the best things I did for myself this year, wait, probably the best! I had the intention of going there to give as much of myself to people but bang! I ended up receiving more than I was able to give. I believe I gained some personal growth and I am glad to have seen God's beauty through nature. Generally, I am glad to have been determined enough to allow God help me make it happen :D

I learnt a lot about myself and that there is so much to be thankful for. From the children I worked with, I learnt that I could shut up, stop complaining and  enjoy whatever good I have right now. We might not be where we should be, but hey, while working up, we need to be thankful, happy. Happiness doesn't come from any of the things we own or our social status or job, it comes from within. Suck it up and find a reason to be happy :) ... I really don't want to write about my work there but I got much from the children and I never thought their smile will make my heart melt. I wish we had more hours to work and there was more I could have done but it was still good.

My friends and I visited as many places as we could and had a good time together, it was like a little family away from home. I even found out that I might not be as "safe" as I always thought <yes, home girl is getting fearless haha>

Anyways, we were there through a school called "Ateneo De Manila" University. One of the best in the Philippines - a private school with a pretty nice and clean campus < it is like private Universities in Nigeria>....  If you are interested check out their website 

My impression of the students was a bit errr initially...  they are mostly kids from very very comfortable backgrounds,  some of them have their own cars and (or) drivers and most can't take the public transportation to save their own lives. Very sheltered students etc....

p.s. I believe having your own car in a developing country while in school shows u must be very comfortable --

They were often surprised that my friends and I would go on trips alone, some of them warned us to be VERY careful! They said it could be dangerous etc.. lol it's not bad. you just HAVE TO BE street smart.

At first, I felt "err" by their "sheltered- ness" but then, took myself back to Lagos, Nigeria,  I felt as though, I was looking my former self in the mirror through them. I was that very sheltered kid too. I would have had no guts to have gone on any of those trips alone with friends. To make matters worse, we lived in an estate and I went to boarding school (I practically lived in a CAGE >_<   ). Aside from school excursions, I never got to do/ see a lot in Nigeria. To be honest, I do believe it could have been irky but I had no guts lol. I would hang out with friends in my estate and my parents took me to any other place I wanted to go. I wasn't allowed to take the public transportation  alone either... I had lied my way through sometimes, and did.  " it was dangerous" yah, right! rme*









Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Wait!! I have to Pay for Toilet Paper?

Told you guys I am in the Philippines right? hmm, I have had my highs and lows- from being really excited, to being really frustrated and homesick, to bonding and laughing hard with new friends etc. In all, I am having a good time. I am really grateful for the experience so far.


I feel like such a foreign object, like one of my new friends says "like an animal from a zoo" <hahaha> I know it's because we are obviously foreigners. The locals are generally nice and welcoming and it feels like people are fascinated by us (foreigners), they constantly stare at us and sometimes, ask if they can touch my hair (lol)... of cos I say yes! it's fine!

A few things to share ...

ha! Manila is a rough city I tell you! You have to be extra street smart in this city or you could get robbed (with their eyes closed) and (or) ripped you off real bad! (but as a sharp ex- Lagos girl, dem no fit haha). It is really crowded and busy here. Cities I have been to outside of Manila are less crowded and cleaner and  personally, I prefer to be there than Manila; however, Manila seems to be the heart of the Philippines with lots of things to do. Filipinos eat rice, rice and more rice! and they love sweets as well.

I found the below very funny.. .. we have an "i" for everything.. i-house, i-pad, i-phone, i-cup yay! lol.. btw, bubble tea= milk tea, except it's sweeter and more milky here but I don't mind it.
i-Cup in the cafeteria, Gateway mall... they sell Milk Tea (BUBBLE TEA)
Transportation: Myself and the other exchange participants have been taking the public transportation - from the tricycles to the Jeepneys and then the trains. <and the occasional use of Taxi's>. The locals warn us against public transportation but hey, it's cheaper and okay as long as you travel smart and in the day time and we actually don't mind it.
In a jeepney 
Jeepney from outside 

the Tricycle 
On the train... I could literally feel my butts pressed to someone or another's bum! lol
Culture shock?
Some exchange participants needed a taxi immediately and I was so sure we could call for a taxi since I saw a "yellow cab" number in the directory. Everyone said there was no such thing here but still convinced, I went to get the number and said "there, here is a number for yellow cab" and everyone looked at me and said "NO! THAT'S A RESTAURANT!" hahaha can u imagine how funny the conversation would have been if I actually called the "taxi" ? smh


source : https://twitter.com/ycpizzaofficial
- My friends and I felt all blue one particular week and decided to go watch a good movie to chill off (we saw "The Internship" which was really funny! - we needed it -). Anyways,  I had to use the washroom and and when I was done, I found no toilet paper.. I freaked out real bad!!! I came out asking for toilet paper and guess what people??

YES, you have to pay for toilet paper in some public washrooms!! hahaha that was so interesting! at least now I know to take my toilet paper everywhere I go <smh>! imagine if you had diarrhea and no money :$

After the movie - waiting for the train : was a Saturday so it wasn't busy :)
Manila or Lagos: What a shame!  It has been a while since I have visited Nigeria and I can't tell if there is a difference between Lagos and Manila. :(  Is there Wifi almost everywhere you go? is the traffic as crazy? clean or dirty? is it really crowded? I need to be there for myself to compare! But when I do visit I wanna do everything, take okada and the public bus and eat in street restaurants etc :D

I really hope you enjoyed this post, please leave your comments!

I will be writing more about our trips to some nice places like the Taal Volcano, Boracay Island, Intramuros (etc), about some of the people that have made our stay here memorable, why I am in the Philippines- expectations and disappointments and new friends made :)  ... I hope to touch base on everything (or almost).

Enjoy the rest of your week
Abi Tobi xx

Saturday, August 17, 2013

New Year's Resolution - So far

Hey people! it's the middle of August and I think it is a good time to look at my resolutions and my progress
(the post is right here)

Exercise: 2- 3 times a weeks? (hahaha I laugh in Spanish).. With a mixture of laziness and being busy, it is a bit difficult to achieve this. There are weeks I went 2 or 3 times but most of the time I have only gone once and I actually enjoy working out - I find myself missing it when I do not.

However, I do not think I would pay for the gym anymore, I hope to move to a condo apartment that has an in-door gym :D

Making my own lunch: YAY! It used to be that I took lunch to work once in a while. now, I eat lunch out once in a while! that's a big progress for me **dancing azonto**


Patience, Selflessness and Spiritual Growth:  Boy, I am still not patient but I think I am a bit better. I am learning to shut up, absorb things and think about it later before deciding how to react. Though, there are days that my eyes tell me off but hey it's progress. Plus I did pray about it and I feel the holy spirit helping me.

I won't say I am selfless- I definitely need to volunteer some more and listen more too..

Travel: I haven't gone to as many places that I wished to this year but  I have visited a few places - I went to Windsor and Camp Olds with Church - was an experience. and I finally visited Banff (yay!) and presently I am in the Philippines -  I will be blogging about my experience here soon. its' different, it's really different for me.

For the first few days, I absolutely loved it and now my excitement is over but I  will definitely adjust and enjoy my stay here..

Will be sharing pictures and my experiences :)

talk to u guys later...

xx
Abi Tobi 

Monday, August 5, 2013

Live it Loud - 2013

The weekend of the 25th of July was unreal!! I had such a good time and it sucked it had to be over so soon but oh well, I was at the Live it Loud conference in Windsor, Ontario Canada and.. ...

In case I am getting you confused, Live it Loud is a Redeemed Christian Church young adults' conference in Canada, and it runs for about 4 days; young adults from various parts of Canada come together and bla bla... we learn the word of God, we have fun and we make new friends :) ... I wrote one up for 2011 if you wanna check it out

....and  It was a-ma-zing! God did move! and I danced like crazy! we danced like crazy, worshipped, praised, ate boli and chicken, met lots of people etc

Of cos, there were showcases of talent, people are talented oh! and ohhhh there was this guy from Calgary who sang Twale (by Flo). Never heard the song until that night and he killed it, again, he just KILLED IT!! If this guy releases an album, I am buying!! I wish I took a video of the performance but err sorry manage the original hehe  (the song has become my national anthem lol) .. I have uploaded the original  below

p.s. I have shared pictures as well.....

Before we get to the pictures a few things I love to share with you:

- Love even when it is difficult: Not that I had not heard this before but I really really needed to hear it again and again and again. As a child, I had a mind that could never hate or keep malice or hold a grudge, I couldn't get so annoyed that I stop talking to you- and I did not understand how people did. Growing as a young adult however,  I can't say same. I find myself so upset that I don't even want to hear the person's name. Is that love?

It is easy to love someone who is doing all the right things for you but will you still care if (s)he stopped and stabbed you in the back? Would you still love even when you get nothing in return? But the bible equates Christians hating to murder and spiritual death. If we are Christ-like we should train our hearts to love no matter what. Choose to love!

1st John 3:14-15 was a new revelation to me that night- greatest thing I took from the weekend

Plus---- holding a grudge is heavy on the heart and tiring - just tiring! very stressful, abeg I no do again abeg!

- You Should not be apologetic for who you are: In the world today, it is becoming harder to boldly state our convictions as  Christian young adults.  We often find yourself in situations where we feel shy to say things we wouldn't do or do and why. It is very easy to keep quiet or "agree" because  we don't want to be left out or judged or -not-fun- etc.. why are we timid to live it loud?

"The world must know your convictions and your convictions (based on the word of God) are great!"

For example, I always say I won't get wasted/drunk and lots of people have tried to convince me. They tell me what I am missing, that it's fun, and I should let loose (etc).. BUT all I do is smile. I could tell them why they shouldn't, what my bible says and why it is dangerous. Am I living my convictions out boldly? or Are they living theirs' out boldly?

-"Love is the greatest Spiritual Weapon we have " (amen!):  The pastor said if someone is being so difficult "love them to submission" hahaha!  ---  Just imagine a girl who always "eyes" you and gets "high blood pressure" when u are around. Imagine being genuinely nice to her and with no malice towards her. She will def turn around if not for anything but because at the least, it makes her look bad.

"Hate can't fight hate, only love can"

-Walking Away: Some of the things God wants us to walk away from are not necessarily bad but they might limit us from going to the next level. Also, sometimes, God wants us to walk away from things that we hold on to too tightly almost above God (we sometimes don't know it). It might be a job, a friendship,an association of people, a career- path, a relationship, tv or even too much sleep (anything).

"God's plans for you are beautiful and best for you. HE takes care of the beautiful birds in the air, and you are way more important. Whatever he tells you is for your own good!" 

-G.R.A. ; Goodlooking, Rich and Anointed (amen!) haha!: Need I explain further?? I can't shout abeg!


Here are some of the pictures and the video. ...
p.s I think I need to invest in a better quality camera

Hope you enjoyed this post ..






Windsor is water (and a small tunnel too) away from Detroit, USA ... my people looking  at the other side  


Appetizer, at the Banquet -
 (I don't know why we did not take pictures of the main dish and dessert, lol) 

Proof that we ate Boli lol


Chicken - was yummy!

Fish and Chicken, I heard the fish was good! (I don't eat fish tho)

myself and some friends








More of DG 




Wednesday, July 17, 2013

The Awkward Moment When.....

Does anyone watch the "Awkward Black Girl" series on Youtube?? A link to one of the episodes is at the end of this post

I just love that show! I mean, if you get  half as awkward as I do you would too haha!

Anyways, these are some of Abi's Awkward moments _____

1) Seeing an Acquaintance in the hallway more than once in the time frame of less than 2 hours:
What do you say after the first or second time? I have already said hi, do I have to greet you again? smile again? fake smile perhaps  or pretend not to see you? lol .. Is it just me? does it get awkward with you too?

2) The Question "Tell me about yourself" : NAH! not in an interview, you know what "they" want to hear there. It is when someone I just met asks that question, in my head I am like "what part about myself, Honey, I can write 5 books!"  what am I supposed to say? I end up stammering and smiling A LOT! with nothing to say lol .. over the phone, I "suddenly have to go" lol

3) when a good looking guy is smiling and staring at you and you smile and wave back and then he walks to the girl behind you lol

4) A boy or man walks into the Bus with his pants sagged all the way down with his heavy and LOUD headphones :

You know them, they will walk into the bus with their music so loud and pants all the way down, see you and start to act like y'all connect
____and all you are trying to figure out is how he isn't deaf yet and how he manages to walk with pants down his knees .. like where exactly is the connection?

5) No more words:  I have ran out of words in my "elevator speech"; ha! you know when you have just met someone and you already exchanged the quick `what`s your name, what do you do..etc` and he or she is still standing there.. it even gets worse when I started the conversation lol or wait! awks! I think it`s just me

6) when you smile and wave to your friend. walk towards him (her) and it`s not your friend  : /

7) (this is GROSS haha) .. when you have your tummy running soo bad and you hold onto that fart till you get into the elevator, perfect! no one is in. You do your thing and then the elevator stops on d second floor, going up with you .... errrrr erm oh! wasn't me

8) when you are seriously looking for something, (say your keys or phone), searched all over, disarranged your room and then after like 30 minutes you realize it has been in your pocket all the while

9) when you forget your phone at home and get back home to not even one text  lol ....na so life be

10) when you send a steaming hot right text message to the wrong person. awks!

That`s all I can think of atm ... do you find yourself in some of these? share plsss! what are some of your awkward moments?

and as promised, here is the episode, enjoy :D

Oh BTW, please let me know what you think of my new layout,  thanks :)

Abi Tobi

Monday, June 10, 2013

Happy Couples make me HAAPPY! -

//

Will and Monifa have been married for 12 years.. enjoy these happy free-spirited couple :)
They made me laugh and smile lol

 
 

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Settling ..........

So the other day, I got to the parking lot (train park and ride) a little later than I should have and I was soo determined (praying in my mind and begging God) to find parking. I found one (yay!) so glad and wondered why no one had taken it, the location seemed really good but the parking spot was horrible, had water and mud all over . I thought about the fact that it would ruin my pretty shoes but I ignored it and decided to settle (just in case I wouldn't find another)


as I got off, walking to the train station, I found better parking spots!!  ugh! ugh! why did I settle, my pretty shoes were stained :(

well, a very minor issue but the situation that morning ministered to other areas of my life. ............

You know those times you pray about something and believe, then you just grab the first one that "looks" like the answer.  Then, trouble comes, or no complete peace comes with that "blessing". The fear of the chance never coming our way again distracts us and can prevent us from getting the best. Why won't we take a step back and ask God if it's right, if it's time, if it's ours?

Remember that "the blessing of the Lord maketh rich and HE adds NO sorrow with it (Proverbs 10:22)" (absolutely amazing!!)

He adds no struggle, pain, confusion, nothing. absolutely nothing that won't give you peace. See, if only I had been a little more patient I won't have ruined my beautiful shoes that morning, I would have found something better.  That's how real life situations are. We should wait and be patient, sharpen our hearts and ears to God and let him lead as he should. Let him direct our every step.

Enjoy the Rest of your week

xx
Abi Tobi  

Friday, April 19, 2013

The Big Chop!

So I stood in front of the mirror and I couldn't take the irregularities and ugliness anymore, I could not believe that letting it out for only one week, letting myself see it's true nature and what it had become would result to this. I guess I have been in denial? or was I just blind? Extensions had made it soo easy for me, and yes it was growing, beautifully too (so I thought) no, not beautifully, just growing somehow. Texturizers had weakened her, taken her full beauty, her beautiful nature. It wasn't time for it. Texturizing had come too soon, she needed some growth first, some life first. she needed to find her own strength first. First, before any other thing.

and in that instance, I blocked out what anyone would say or think, I blocked out negation. She needed a new start and I was going to give it to her.

That instance I took a pair of scissors and cut it all off...the uneven awkward looking strands.. and the feeling was PRICELESS.. very very priceless... but it's just hair.............

.........................................................................................................................................................

But you know, it's more than that. Our lives sometimes need trimming, we need to look into the mirror and cut things out. Let go of  all the ugliness and irregularities. We need a TRUE check of our lives to understand our situations and re-evaluate and adjust when and where needed.

Sometimes, we are scared of what people might say or  how they might react to our decisions, we are scared of how we might  "look" and we allow ourselves ignore the importance of  re-construction. There might be people you need to cut off or let go. All the people who bring you negative energy, or maybe those who influence you wrongly. It might even be as simple as a TV show that makes you crawl into your skin and brings back hurtful memories, or a job that brings you absolutely no peace.
You need trimming and you have to let it go! chop it off..

Yes, at some stages we need THE BIG CHOP! 

 
Maybe you need to change your city, cut off those people, go back to school, get a new job, move out of your parents house, get out of that relationship, make peace, be firm.  Whatever you need for a fresh new start, confess it and work towards it (more actions than talking). Sometimes, you need some growth first before getting to the next level. YOU need to allow that growth! It is time to make bold and reconstructive decisions for YOURSELF irrespective of what anyone thinks of it. It's your life and you have to take it by the hand without fear and enjoy the ride ......

Enjoy your weekend. xx
Lots of Love,
Abi Sanni




Btw, enjoy the song :D






 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

You are more Beautiful than you think

I was going to post  something else today, but can pass or wait on that .. ...

I read this article and I just felt a little warm inside. I DID NOT WRITE THIS.. I FOUND IT HERE:  http://www.mamamia.com.au/health-wellbeing/dove-real-beauty-sketches-film/


Imagine if you were asked to explain your own beauty to someone. Would you struggle?

Yeah. You and the other 3.5 billion women on the planet.

The reality is that most of us can’t see our own beauty like the people around us can. We’re constantly underestimating ourselves. In fact, only 4% of women around the world consider themselves beautiful.

This video will change the way that you think and feel about your own beauty….

An FBI-trained forensic artist, Gil Zamora, created sketches of seven women who were hidden behind a curtain; he used their self-descriptions as the basis of his drawings. Prior to the session with Zamora, each of the women were also asked to spend some time with a stranger – without being told why. Zamora then also drafted sketches from the stranger’s depictions of the women.

And the result? Well, we’ll let you see for yourself.



The Dove Real Beauty Sketches campaign encourages women to reassess how they see themselves.

You can join the conversation on Dove’s Facebook page here.

And if you needed further reminding of exactly WHY women’s perceptions of beauty are so skewed, then click through this gallery of photoshop fails.

http://www.mamamia.com.au/health-wellbeing/dove-real-beauty-sketches-film/


Please go to the website above to go through the pictures.

Let me know what you think.

xx

Abi Tobi

Saturday, April 13, 2013

It is Up to You :)


You can laugh out loud if you want to
feel  and enjoy every drop of the drizzling rain
dance like no one is watching
or you could let your beautiful face go,
fade slowly with the wrinkles from that frown

You could re-analyze
re-organize, re-think or regret
everything that makes you sad
you could let those thoughts take sanity,
peace, beauty from your head
or
you can learn your lessons
let it go...
enjoy the ride

You could hold on
be unforgiving
keep your soul caged up
because he hurt you
because she let you down
or you can let it go
set your soul free
release the pain.. freedom
you can give your soul it's long awaited freedom

You could hurt yourself
keep holding on to what you did
you could let guilt suck up
the pride you take in your being
your confidence
unforgiving to yourself
choose to be miserable
or
you can forgive yourself
let it go....
move on..
set your soul free
remind yourself Christ already forgave you

You could condemn your hair
your legs, the way you talk,
your person, your beauty
or you can accept, appreciate and love yourself

It's all up to you
You could remain miserable,
you could hold on to bitterness
and tastelessness
You could keep hugging
whatever is making you stagnant
whatever is making your soul a prisoner
or you can choose to forgive,
to let it ALL go
LET IT GO...
you can choose to be happy
you can be happy
you deserve to :)


P.S. The choreography :)




Tuesday, March 19, 2013

The Liebster Blog Award


awww I got awarded with the Liebster Blog Award by In the Midst Of her. I feel honored because I am a big fan of her blog!!! YAY ME!!! Thank you!!

The Rules:
  • Thank and link back to the giver
  • Answer the giver’s questions
  • Nominate five other bloggers with fewer than 200 followers
  • Ask 5 questions for one’s nominees to answer
  • Post it on your blog.
 
 
 
Here are her questions:

1) if necessary, glasses or contacts and why?

Hehehehe! I don't wear any right now. I get freaked out putting anything into my eyes (what if something goes wrong?). But if I had to choose. I wouldn't :P

okay, seriously, it depends. If I was going for an interview or a business meeting, or making a presentation, I will put on my glasses because because erm I want to be taken seriously. lol

A party, dinner, date etc. contacts! (Girl still cares about how pretty darn good she looks!) lol

2) If you met the PERFECT guy, and he was shorter than you ( let’s say 2 -3 inches) would it matter?

YES! I am not even tall (my heels always help)  so any guy shorter than me is short for a man (not just for me). Please be my height or taller. Thank you.

3)If money wasn’t an object, what would your ideal job be?

Social worker or a Professional writer.

Social worker because I love to see people improve and better. It gives me a kind of fulfilment I have not found anywhere else.

Writer because it is a place for me to escape. It feels like God's own therapy to me. :)
 and I love the world of business, I think I am still in line being an accountant :)
 
4) Whats your ideal number of children?

hmm 2 or 3. Not more than that. I don't want to have too many kids. Because I am don't like a big crowd, want to be specially close to them, have time for them and my husband as well. and because I am career oriented. So help me God. amen.

5) If you could speak any language, what would it be
 
oh soo SPANISH! I am learning and I know it muy poquito :D



I nominate

1) Tosin
2) Prism of an Immigrant
3) Mirrors, Reflections from my lenses
4) Blogratti
5) Miss Enigma's Journal

My Questions:

1) What was the funniest or most interesting or most embarrassing thing that happened to you in High-school?

2) South America or Europe? (excluding UK) and Why???

3)  What's your addiction?

4) If you were some sort of nature (the wind, the mountain, rain etc) what would it be?

5) Who is your celebrity crush?

Have fun :D



 

Thursday, February 21, 2013

it's the way HE....


Sometimes, most times, I find it hard to let go of my will for God's will

and sometimes, I hear him clearly but pretend to be deaf.
At other times, ugh!! oh soo blurry! I do not understand what "this" or "that" means.

Many times, I just do not understand why something is not good enough for me.. like if I say it's okay, then shouldn't it be? -

But it's the way God always keeps me and protects me. It is personal! very! it's the friendship we have. how I hide,  struggle, try and then give up, throw my hands up and say "okay, do what you gotta do".. and how HE does :)

and I am far from perfect. you can even judge me, point out every "little" or "big" sin I commit, I struggle with. You can remind me that  I am a nobody to talk about how beautiful God is. You can say anything. I will take it. I am taking it.

At the end the Lord still loves me, he still hears me and he still protects me. I am HIS and that's it!

It's how HE communicates with me. Like Jeremiah. and how he comforts me.

HE is a comforting, exceptional, amazing, beautiful God to me. like I said, it's personal.



 

Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Single?

AND---

This is dedicated to all the single ladies (&men) out there! singing *if he likes it then he should put a ring on it, if he likes it then he should be committed, if he likes it then he should do this right** yes! my re-mix! lol


If you know me, then you know I am in love with love. the idea of it. I get excited when my male or female friends go on and on about some new girl/guy. it's weird. I DO WANNA hear it!! I love to lol and I am usually the one "aww-ing" the loudest

But I have a  few single friends and I feel like pushing them out to the "meat market" go find someone who makes your heart tinga-linga-ling  and better not be single this time next year (or I will  have to do the match making myself! :|)  murmurs- and you know how not soo good I am with that ...



Since love is in the air  I did a little research on where to meet single men and women.  (references are below)













School:

But OF COS! school is a hot-spot! As one of my lovely aunties advised me in my first year in Uni "use one eye to study and the other eye to look for a man, it's harder after school oh" haha! I just laughed out loud when she said it but it is true!! If you are still in school, take some special interest classes, join a group or two. Study buddies are also a great way to network and meet new people. School is like a dive in the ocean :D

Apple Store:

Boy! I was in shock when I saw this on cosmopolitan, but seriously it makes sense! Men love their gadgets and the apple store has lots of them. As written in the article " take a free workshop on anything from Photoshop to podcasting or just survey the, ahem, good-looking merchandise" if you know what I mean ;)

Library/ Bookstore:

I totally agree with this one! I am actually happy to see this! Many of my friends do not agree with me but I have met some really cool people in the library.. then maybe you can go on with "solving one or two assignments together" etc.. The library is a beautiful place to meet people, guys!

 

Through a friend or Family:

This will be my personal least favorite and not just me, some of my friends agree! You know when "aunties" and "uncles" or older friends try to hook you up and the date just turns out to be an epic fail! being there and do not wanna be there again lol!

But it has also worked, people introducing people to other people have turned out to something beautiful.

Introducing works but not the forceful thing of "you MUST be together".. *say na who die?*  lol




Online:

I know, I know! the African culture really frowns at this. There is almost a stigma when you voice out that you want to try online dating. It has its pros and cons but it works. Personally, I have nothing against it except to be extra careful, ((s)he might be a psychopath!

Weddings:

What a beautiful place to meet beautiful people (p.s. if you have not invited me to your wedding, I am accepting IVS and making available time).

Talk to people. Dance with the fine looking man or woman you have been admiring (don't stick with your friends oh).. lots of single people, lots of new people you can get to know :).. and dance!

Gym:

WHY NOT IF NOT?? all the luscious looking people. hmm hmm eye-candy.. in short I like this one because it is a good motivation to work out and stay healthy. There are lots of fine looking men at the gym! To meet working class people I suggest joining a corporate gym. working class men and women that can work that body!! lol







Sports Bar/ Club:

This is a popular one. though I won't go for a party boy because it is exhausting [I can't be worrying too much abeg (lol)].  and because I do not go out as much anymore. But it is a popular place to find fun-loving people!

You know how good girls are now ending up with party boys? lol let's go to the next one!

Religion Center (Church/Fellowship)

YES! come to church! okay, for real though, do not come to church to meet a man or woman come meet with God oh! but the church is a good place to meet some responsible people especially those you share same principles with.

Come to think of it, some people actually start coming to church more when they start feeling the need to "settle down". they will all be "worshipping" and trying to "fellowship" with you more. Be careful is all I am saying lol.





So there you have it. Top places to meet single People! Let me know what you think xx

 http://voices.yahoo.com/top-ten-best-places-meet-single-men-women-490103.html?cat=41
http://ca.askmen.com/dating/player_60/81b_love_games.html
http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/dating-advice/best-places-to-meet-men

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

February

Happy February!

It is the month of love.

Some girls trying to "deceive" men into loving them for the aim of getting a "Val's gift". Some men trying to bring up one fight or the other (maybe) because they are broke or maybe the said girl is a side chic.

and loving couples day-dreaming about how to spend time with their lovers or how to make them feel special.


whatever you do, make sure you speak in your lover's love language. thoughtful gifts are usually the best!! :)


If you are single, pamper yourself. yes, send yourself flowers if you love flowers. take yourself (with some other single friends) to a fancy restaurant (If u love eating out). a spa treat, chocolates, a new dress, lingerie etc ..... spoil yourself. love yourself (nothing wrong with that) :)


HAPPY VAL'S DAY IN ADVANCE.


and congrats to Tiwa Savage. she is one Nigerian female artist I adore. happy for her!

 

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Happy New Year + Resolutions

This has been sitting in my draft for about two weeks now BUT ---->>>>>

HAPPY NEW YEAR Everyone!

I love you all and wish you a beautiful year. one of growth, laughter and love. *kisses*

............................................................................................................................

Last year, I came up with a list of things I wanted to do in the new year, but surprisingly, 2012 did not work out the way I had imagined. leave laziness aside (for goals like working out lol) It was a year full of lessons and pauses and growth. But it was all worth it and I am more than grateful for 2012. the year is over. This is a new fresh start.

A few things I want to work on in 2013:

1) Patience: Boy! I am not patient! and every time I think my patience is good enough I get proved wrong. I hate watching anything twice, I hate reading anything twice (I get bored) . I get easily irritated but I love how a smile always covers up all the swear words and knives I am throwing at people when they are taking a piss. My reactions might lie about how I feel but since I get irritated so easily then I am not patient. I am really praying for patience.

2) Exercise: I said this last year and I and a friend did for about a month but after my friend moved, my motivation moved too :( .. Anyhow, this year, come rain or shine I will exercise. (2 weeks after) Guess who is registered in a gym? yes, Yours Truly :). My mom almost passed out when I told her about this new routine ("ha, o fe pa mi, do you want to disappear?"). LOLL! No mom, I want to be healthy. I have absolutely no stamina and fall easily ill and tired and oh yes, I love to maintain a good figure *winks*

Nothing intense tho, twice a week will do

3) Make my Lunch: I love eating out. But my goal to be healthy and financially wise says no to this. There is nothing wrong with eating out once in a while but ... really, I need to be disciplined.

4) Spiritual Growth: I am usually like a wind, here today and gone tomorrow. I don't want that no more. I want to grow spiritually, read my bible some more and live my life according to God's words. Wait for direction from God (PATIENCE!!) and learn to live a balanced life.

5) Travel:  I want to travel, see new places and meet new people. The plan is that even if I do not find anyone to go with me, I will travel and enjoy every bit of my vacation. I want to feel alive and I want to enjoy new experiences.

6) Selflessness: I feel a bit selfish sometimes. I want to step out of my box a little more for others. and  also volunteer.


well... that's all :)

what are some of your resolutions?

Abi Tobi xx
 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

My 1%

they say good men have vanished
that I have to take
what I get, what I see

They say a typical man
will find another lady more amusing than me
more desirable than me
that it's okay if he gets bored
and goes to her cookie-jar
but I won't be with a typical man

They say he would
almost not disrespect me
50% of the time, he might
that to him, I will be second
they say he might make mean jokes
and I have to respond with
an apology 

They say good men are done
maybe 1% left are right
they say he would love me for a while
but I have to take what I get
 
I say those are all lies
I say I will have one of the 1%
For he will work to be
the man in Ephesians 5: 28- 32..
he knows that when he loves me
treats me right, he is doing himself good

I say if he gets tempted to
the curves of another lady
he will run
flee from temptations
and in temptation, he will find no peace
till he does right

He will know that I am a gift
from God, a partner... not an unequal half
how can 1/2+1/2 =1, if 1/2=3/4?
see we are 1, I am one half and he, the other
equals... .. Genesis 2:23-24

I am going back to the basics
to the root of the meaning of love and marriage
not what "they say"

and I will live to submit myself unto him
I will live to be the woman in Proverbs 31: 10-31
and while I wait, I will prepare myself for him
in every aspect
and because of me, more people will respect him
more people will honor him
I will wear fine garments for him
Put on sweet smelling frangrance
and adore him with all my heart

I won't settle for less
I want my 1%
and even in lives storm,
when an uncomfortable situation
stares in our face
we will conquer
we will grow old as one

This is my 1%
and I will wait for him
They say I live in a dream world
that this is all in my "youthful imagination"
I say "I know God has the best plans for me"
I won't get less than best
I tell them
"lets wait and see"
and I smile... in my heart and out