About Me

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
I am a lot of things - I am limited edition, not weird :) . A Christ Lover and a fashion lover. I love crime and comedy shows (or movies) .. and I always move on no matter what :)

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Changed Man

HELLO EVERYONE! I know! I know! and I am sooo sorry! I have no excuse at all, not one valuable one but all I will say is I have been UNDER RE-CONSTRUCTION. lol, yes, re-constructing myself and I tell you I have learnt a lot (still learning and growing) in my months of silence. I say thanks to everyone who did not un-follow me and for everyone who told me to come back. you guys are too nice :)

Definition of Past - "gone by in time no longer existing" - Oxford Online Dictionary

My Past,
Hunting me in my dreams
reminding me of the stupidity of world "defined" beauty
Oh, if only they knew
Knew who I was
maybe they will know how ugly I really feel
how ugly I really am

ah, it's not letting go
I can't let go
see all the pains I caused
all the hearts I broke
I am truly sorry
How do I forgive myself?

But did I forget
that, that is gone by?
gone with the wind,
with time, with the seasons?

Did I ever forget Isaiah 43:18
that I SHOULD  move on?
and 2 Corinthians 5: 17
That ALL (not some) things have become NEW?

I am a changed man,
I have repented,
tried to right my wrongs,
asked for forgiveness
and departed from my OLD ways
why should I hold on to THE PAST?

I won't act like those things did not happen
But I am glad in my soul
will take joy and sing in my heart
that I am not that person anymore

I can live in peace
I can breathe
I am a new being


So darlings, don't let anyone in this world or anything you have done make you feel like you do not deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy, you deserve a new start. See, when this kind of guilt comes, it is a cage (I know because I have been there), and a BIG LIE of the devil to keep you from moving forward in life. See, the truth is how can you move on if you do not forgive yourself? God has forgiven you and that to me is good enough. Jesus said it is FINISHED on the cross (John 19:30). and he said this JUST BEFORE he died. think this deeper. It means no matter how much people have condemned you, no matter what they say or do to criticize you for what you had done, it don't matter no more because Jesus died with all your sins. He rose again to give you a new hope and for you to start over. Your past is finished and you can now  move on.

and you might say, I am struggling with this or with that, and I have been trying to stop but I can't. say this to yourself. I WILL stop. say it again and then again and believe it!

But honey, you CAN NOT stop on your own (I say this again because I have been there! more than once or twice lol). hmm, we feel like we can just be disciplined enough to stop doing things. ah, wrong!
God sees your heart and can give you grace. see, especially as Christians, we need to learn to ask God to help us out. He is such a gentleman and if you do not ask him you might just keep going around in circles. Like I said discipline is not enough. I will give you a simple example.

A few months ago I noticed that I started becoming gluttony.  lol, like see, I am not a foodie, but I wanted to eat everything I saw (smh), it did not matter if I was hungry or not, if I had just eaten or not, or if I just had that same thing or not, if it was there I wanted it! I was not happy about this and wanted it to stop! I tried discipline, told myself that I wouldn't be greedy but e no work lol. But until I prayed about it and asked God to help me I did not go past it.. (soo don't be afraid to invite me for dinner lol) ...

Philippians 4:13 you can do ALL things (not some, ALL) things through Christ. so ask God for help and he will definitely be there. 1 COR. 10: 13 reminds us that we won't be tempted beyond what we can handle and that means you will go through this and successfully. Det 31:6 reminds us that God will NEVER leave us or forsake us. So you should ask him to help you, to lead you and you will be fine :)

Also, recognize that you are growing, some of these things you are angry with yourself about were okay once upon a time. God sees your heart and he will help you through. channel your anger on determination to stop, not at yourself but at what you are doing. you should pray about it and work towards it as well. I believe that at every given point,  there is something that is a working progress in our lives to make us better people. so darling, you will get through this :)

  Prayer + work = Winning :D 

and if you are reading this and you want a new start through Christ, wondering about who the Lord is, you should try him out (Honey, you will never know till you try). He already loves you and he is ready to work through things with you. Say a simple prayer and ask that he comes into your life, that he reveals himself to you and that you have a personal life-changing relationship with him. trust me, he will come through and he is waiting for you.

So People, go ahead and be happy, and let go of everything that is holding you back. INCLUDING YOUR PAST AND UN-FORGIVENESS. You need to move forward and God wants you to move forward.... Remember, You are NOT that person any more, you are a changed man!

Love y'all

Abi Tobi
P.S. I love this song!!


  1. Woo! That spoke to me! Thank you! I've started this new thing where I make a conscious effort not to worry even when I feel like I messed up big time, Coz it leads to condemnation, and then brings up my past. Leaving things to God is so refreshing, I don't care if I look lazy, I won't worry about it-He's got it. Thanks Abi

  2. Thank you for this Abi! This is truly hawesome;) I'm so excited for how God is speaking through you! Very wise words..so so true Only through the grace of God can we move forward- anything less will lead to dissapointment! <3


  3. thanks girlies! I am glad it spoke to u as it did to me, all God

  4. Yeah, we should always lean on God, not our own strength.

  5. Thank you for this message Tobi... I pray we all learn to rely on God to help us

  6. amen! thanks for the encouragement and thank God for the message :)