About Me

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
I am a lot of things - I am limited edition, not weird :) . A Christ Lover and a fashion lover. I love crime and comedy shows (or movies) .. and I always move on no matter what :)

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Baggage out?

Last Sunday the preacher talked about leaving our baggage of un-forgiveness and hurt in 2012 and not carrying them into 2013, he literally begged us to let every pain and hurt go.

This got me thinking and you know e get some kain stubborn pain that just won't leave, they stay there, staring in your face, eating with you and walking with you day by day and it is just really difficult to let them go.

Here are two main things I do when I find myself in such a situation:

1) Pray: I pray, I ask God for wisdom and help to kill hate and bitterness in my heart. Because the whole thing puts me in a situation of not caring at all about the said person. I just do NOT want to see them or hear from them and anytime I do, I get soo angry inside. So, I pray.

Prayer has really helped me. I find the pain going day by day and eventually, the whole thing becomes an experience, helping me to be wiser and reminding me those people are humans.

2) Block it out: There are times I can't even pray especially when I can not make up an explanation to why the whole thing happened. maybe good or bad, finding a reason why the other person acted in the certain way keeps me sane and helps me move past it BUT when I can't, then I find it hard to pray.

So I block it out totally, pretend or tell myself it never happened, and move on with my life, with time, I find that I either will forget what made me sooo mad, or the occurrence won't have an effect on me again.

This is only effective when I can avoid the person, when I do not have to see them every week, or month (their pictures and life included- social media). If not, I will always remember. It might also be harmful because it can add to my baggage and make me unconsciously act in certain ways I do not understand.
How do you deal with un-forgiveness? How do you let things go? what works for you and what does not? 

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Giving During Christmas

Personally, I did not see the point of wrapping gifts and giving them out in Christmas, I understand/tood why I would make someone feel extra special on their birthdays and why I would give to the needy or be there for people when I am needed but gifts during Christmas? Please what is the fuss about?

My mom gets excited buying gifts and wrapping them for her closest friends and to me, that was just extra expenses. Don't get me wrong, I am not stingy, I just never saw the point. Maybe it's because I went to boarding school and towards the end of every term we were all so broke no one gave any gifts or maybe my classmates/dorm mates did not like me lol.

Anyways, I got to work several days this Christmas period to find boxes of chocolate and gifts and I felt like this -- "aww that's sooo sweet, these people don't even know me that well"
& like this   -- "oh wait! I have to buy gifts too"

So I did.. and boy! It felt soo good sharing (ESPECIALLY DURING THIS SEASON)
I felt awesome seeing the smiles on their faces and them going on about how they loved their gifts.
the joy of making others smile just because!
I think I get it now, it's the reward you get sharing with everyone else in a special season

They taught me some new things:

1) Well, it is most important to share and love every time but more especially in this period. It's the best way to remind people of how much Jesus loves them. There is a God and even science can't explain the good feeling of loving, sharing and giving.

2) It is a time to remind people that we are one in this big world. Whether family or friends, or classmates or co-workers, they are all part of a system and circle in our lives and without them our world would be empty. It is a time to remind people that they are important as humans and they matter. you are important to me, without you, my blog is useless, my love for writing is useless

3) It is a time to be grateful, for life, for provision and to give a hand to those who do not have.

4) It's almost the end of the year, and a time for something new. See, I love spring and it is my favourite time of the year because it is a season when things usually turn around for me. It is almost like my own new year. It is also a time that prepares us for the long awaited summer season. Christmas is just like Spring. It prepares us for the long awaited new year, new hopes, new dreams and new aspirations.


I encourage you to give/share this season because it is key, I wish you all the blessings this season brings

love and kisses**
Abi Tobi


Sunday, December 16, 2012

Second Chance 2


"Lily, get the door"

Lily kept standing still at the door and I went to see what was happening. It is was Darlene. what? I thought it was a dream, 17 years later and I wondered what exactly she wanted or where she had been. First, I was thankful, that she was alive, not gone with the dust, 10 feet below the earth and that she still looked soo beautiful. Darlene was my everything. She looked beautiful, it felt like I was only seeing her for the first time but more. I did not understand the emotions that wound up inside of me. One side was really angry, very mad, I felt anger burning my soul! what on earth made her leave? I NEVER really understood why she left. The other side wanted to hug her for life, I was more than thankful she was alive.

"come in"

I showed Lily pictures of her mother and told her she had gone missing. I couldn't bring myself to tell her the truth I could not! Lily found out the truth about 2 years ago when  we were cleaning out the house. The old letter her mom had written was in an old small box where it still remains. I don't understand why I kept it.

"have a seat, would you like some water, tea or coffee?" We served her some old cookies and hot tea (it was really cold out) there was a strong air of awkwardness. Lily sat, not saying a word, would not say a word.

What does she want? Maybe she has cancer and wants to right her wrongs first? maybe she is back for Lily? maybe she is here to use us? Perhaps, she will leave again? or is she here to stay? maybe we could pick up? whom am I kidding? it has been 17 years and I have my daughter and myself to protect.

Darlene was my teenage crush/love and we shared our every dream together and even when it seemed impossible, she was always there with me, there for me. She was innocent and with a huge heart, my baby would never have walked away, I have never really understood why she left.  oh does she want her family back?

To be honest, I wanted answers.

Darlene started tearing up... and boy! this was awkward! was I supposed to be nice? should I just keep it awkward and watch her cry? I chose the latter.

But I have been in guilt for the past 18 years. Yes guilt. Darlene and I got married right after she was done high-school. at the age of 18, I was 20. I still had a lot of single friends whom I often drank and hung out with. Seeing my friends fooling around and being free made me secretly feel like my youth was being taken away.

...... and it all started when I was paired with this girl to work on a school project. She was brunette, with long legs and a killer smile. Her name is Tami. This girl walked and talked with all confidence, she was bold and firm. Like she wanted me to have her. Don't get me wrong my wife is confident, but this kind was different, this girl was not the "good girl" type. She was very spontaneous and fun.

We studied late nights and got closer by the day. It was all innocent at first, my wife knew her and we all hung out from time to time with her boyfriend. Then, she started flirting. She would tell me how I am the only man she would trust with all her mind and how she feels connected to me. She was super nice to me and super smart and Lord knows she smelt sooo good.

So, I took to the stupid man in me, and we both vowed to keep it a secret. She was my part-time girl and we both enjoyed being that. In fact,  I believe that's what drew her closer to me, she was free to see anyone and obviously I, wasn't allowed to, except my wife. This girl, she was fun. This girl was a different kind of different.

After Lily came, we had no peace in the house. It was hell every time and my part-time woman would sometimes give me money to feed my family. It was horrible. I know, babies were not to come for the next 2 years (till I was done school and working) but I was soo guilty I wanted a permanent Darlene in my life.. something that would always represent both of us.

After sometime, I could not handle it anymore and told  Tami off. I was tired and done with being unfaithful. I was done with disrespecting my wife and seeing what she was going through with Lily.  I was done with dishonoring my vows. I was done.

Tami then became a monster. SHE never really cared about my family? really? she was out to completely destroy us. She threatened to reveal everything to Darlene and I begged her with all that was in me not to. BUT it was either that or we keep this nonsense going so I told her to go ahead.

So one night, I planned to tell my wife everything. Lily had a play date with our neighbor's kid and I got home to an empty room and a note...  A note that did not explain much. I do not know if Tami said anything. Was Darlene soo angry and heart broken that she left? I couldn't really tell. my heart was torn.

My heart was crushed......

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Second Chance?

... So there I was waiting, hoping crying and begging that she comes back to me. That she loves me and she forgives me. There I was wishing I could turn the hands of time, praying with all my heart that it is not too late...

I was young and reckless, I loved to live life to the fullest, I still do. But the older I get, the more I feel the need to take a step back. No, I lied. it is now impossible for me. I live in guilt, I am drowned in guilt and one would think with my status and money I would be the happiest person on earth.

.... I fell in love at an early age and yes he loved me.. with all his heart and mind. He cared for me and adored me and this love was real so real I felt complete, and with all of my being I loved him too. But a baby had to ruin it for us. See, I wasn't ready for a child, I was not ready for the responsibilities, I wanted to enjoy my life, accomplish my dreams first. I wanted to be happy (and that's not too much to ask).

My husband promised me the world just so I keep the baby and I did, we did. But when she came, I couldn't bare the pain of watching my life pass by me, neither could I bare the pain of neglecting my child and hating her. I couldn't help blaming her for everything wrong that happened. We were broke, I could not go back to school full-time and I could not go through seeing my love go through soo much stress everyday. I could not. I was weak. I was drained. I was not emotionally capable.

One day, I had had it. This baby never stopped crying, she cried for no reasons and I started to feel like a monster. A monster, how can I blame such an innocent child for everything? How can hatred grow from no where? why was this even happening? but sssshhh! can I hear myself? can I even put my head down for 5 minutes? I was exhausted!

I had begged my husband to give up our baby for adoption but he said no.. really, he said no! even said I should leave if it was too much for me. My baby was now 2. But we had been running from one hospital to another, and I had to drop out of school. things were not getting any better.

So one day. I left. I was becoming crazy! A legibly crazy walking looking scarecrow. I was crazy. I defined crazy. I walked away. Left. I left the one person that means the world to me. not my daughter. my man.

I left. I could not bare the pain. I gathered some of my secret savings and started to build my life again, I went back to school, got a good job and about 3 years into my very first professional job,  I started my own business. See, I started and now I am working for myself, I am my own boss. My business has been here for 10 years and it has grown soo much we are growing.

I have secretly kept myself from my former life. New friends, new city and since my parents passed away at age 13, I have no parent on my neck telling to go back home. I left 17 years ago and I want to see my babies, both of them. I haven't been with any other person, no family, no close friends. I could not, I can not. I can not bring myself to it. Did I mention that I live in guilt?

So, for the past year, I linked up with a private investigator to find my lover and daughter. My man, he is still single and still as handsome as ever. and my daughter oh soo beautiful, she sings at local shows and volunteers to serve the homeless. I have been secretly sending her gifts. Claiming "the Government" sees her hard work and love to reward her.

I am scared. I am in front of their house scared to death. Will they take me back? Does she even know I am alive. Will they receive me? Can I be re-united with my family?

MY HEART DROPS ...........

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Is this Selfishness? Is it love?

no! love, no, selfishness
it`s the heart that is shattered
that holds on after love is broken

the heart that wishes
that longs for some more
even at the end of the story
at the end of the journey

the type that wants you here
that secretly wishes no one will fill that space
that wants everything to be fine,
back to normal NOW!
but what is `normal`?

the heart full of bitterness
at the thought of being with another
or imagination that you move on
Is it selfishness?
Is this love?

Holding on so long
to what would have been
living in those wishes
letting bitterness
steal my heart
is this selfishness?
is it love?

But now,
I will let it go
let you go,
away from my heart
away from my soul
away from my mind
that in my head you are set free
for me, and for you
not because I do not care
but because it`s the best
for you, for me

But now,
I will let you go,
away from us
and everything
everything that has my name,
and yours written on it
away from wishes,
and live life as it is, now
remain in now, and be happy
even without you

That you may find happiness
love, and more happiness
that I hear good of you
that you laugh in the rain
and your dreams come true

that you find love
and your soul is set free
that you do what makes
your heart leap
I wish you the very best

Goodbye my once love
Goodbye my friend

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Yours, Abi

Dear Lord, 

Words can not express
and my smiles can never be wide enough
my praise is like a mustard seed 
to show  how thankful I am

Day in, day out
You write my story 
Reminding me that I am yours
that I belong to you

In the midst of pain,
and in the midst of trial 
you give me reason to laugh
and when my soul is weak
When I am so broken 
and can't let go, can't get up
You have been my strength

When I am alone 
When there is no one to turn to
When my heart is cold
you have been my friend
A shoulder to cry on
With you, I never feel judged
It amazes me how you pull me through 

And even in my stubbornness
When I want what I WANT 
When I go my own way
You welcome me back, 
Embrace  me with your love 
In your presence I feel at home

Lord, you are love
You define love to me everyday
Sometimes, through others 
Mostly,  directly from my relationship with you
It's the way you protect me
the way you fulfill your promises
The way you reveal yourself
God, you are real
I am thankful to be yours
I am thankful to recognize you as Lord! 

and I sometimes doubt you
This big ocean of unbelief in my heart
Lord,  sometimes I forget your plans for me
I forget that you have a purpose for me 
and years down the lane
I am more than grateful I did not have it my way

Lord, I am not the best child
But you love me anyways, I am in awe

So now, 
I will trust you more
I want to trust you some more
Even in my doubts
I want to remember your goodness
and that everything happens for a reason
that you have a beautiful plan 
There is my will
And there is yours 
Help me to want what you want
Teach me to love 
Lead me, hold me, 
help me make a difference,
Be my foundation
And like a strong tower complete me

Abi Tobi 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

First Date Rules II

Hello beautiful people! It is a white day here in Edmonton and we have been having this down pour since Wednesday and well , I won't complain, it is just really WHITE everywhere .. I miss Spring .

So how are all the New York Bloggers? lovelife4sale, you there? I hope you guys are fine and my prayers are with you. this too shall pass. amen.

and the series continues! Yes first date rules. I am no expert oh but wise actions might save us from trouble and more troubles. Anyways, I read about a girl in Nigeria who jumped down a high-rise apartment in Lagos because her date was trying to rape her (Linda Ikeji's Blog). hmm, I do not blame the girl for being assaulted and I am particularly ashamed that at this stage and time people would still blame her.

  • But my point is abeg make una dey go public place -- go to a public place I am begging. Biko, because you really do not know what the other person's intentions are, and also, you want to have fun but not let all of yourself go. Public place, please and thanks

  • Money:  Oh yes, you were on your own and someone asked you out on a date, he should pay. Whatevs' girl! Take your cash or debit or credit card and if possible for two (lol)... To be honest, I usually like the idea of my date paying for me (and they usually do) but I like to be prepared. This guy might be stingy or  broke or maybe the date sucked for him and he won't invest any further, who knows?
I read a funny story on twitter about a girl who went out on a date with this guy and decided to go grocery shopping right before the movie and then got to the counter and said she forgot her wallet at home. Guy just helped her arrange the things back to where she picked them from. Girl was really pissed and opted out of the date and ended the communication with the boy loooool! really though, why do we do this to ourselves? why? why? haha .... Honey, do not embarrass yourself, go prepared. You can take care of yourself  and this is a subtle way of showing it. Do not order more than you can afford and when the bill comes, bring out your wallet, cash, debit card or credit card whatever it is, place it on the table. Just show signs that  "I GOT THIS BOY !" lol 

  • Girl, it is a date not Halloween! So dress to suit the location or event. If you are going on a movie date, something casual - If you are going to a fancy restaurant, something more elegant. I would say, don't look like you are trying too hard to impress him but look good. Do not go and wear an evening gown for a movie date lol
  • Do not show too much skin.. Important. because you might look like you wanna sell out. Men are moved by what they see so note that. whatever you wear be comfortable in it and feel beautiful in it, ask 1 or 2 friends to assess your looks (too much, not enough, etc) ..  Go feeling like:

Remember to have fun and relax, it's the best way to enjoy your date.
Enjoy the rest of your weekend, I will be enjoying mine :D 

Hugs and Kisses
Abi Tobi

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Changed Man

HELLO EVERYONE! I know! I know! and I am sooo sorry! I have no excuse at all, not one valuable one but all I will say is I have been UNDER RE-CONSTRUCTION. lol, yes, re-constructing myself and I tell you I have learnt a lot (still learning and growing) in my months of silence. I say thanks to everyone who did not un-follow me and for everyone who told me to come back. you guys are too nice :)

Definition of Past - "gone by in time no longer existing" - Oxford Online Dictionary

My Past,
Hunting me in my dreams
reminding me of the stupidity of world "defined" beauty
Oh, if only they knew
Knew who I was
maybe they will know how ugly I really feel
how ugly I really am

ah, it's not letting go
I can't let go
see all the pains I caused
all the hearts I broke
I am truly sorry
How do I forgive myself?

But did I forget
that, that is gone by?
gone with the wind,
with time, with the seasons?

Did I ever forget Isaiah 43:18
that I SHOULD  move on?
and 2 Corinthians 5: 17
That ALL (not some) things have become NEW?

I am a changed man,
I have repented,
tried to right my wrongs,
asked for forgiveness
and departed from my OLD ways
why should I hold on to THE PAST?

I won't act like those things did not happen
But I am glad in my soul
will take joy and sing in my heart
that I am not that person anymore

I can live in peace
I can breathe
I am a new being


So darlings, don't let anyone in this world or anything you have done make you feel like you do not deserve to be happy. You deserve to be happy, you deserve a new start. See, when this kind of guilt comes, it is a cage (I know because I have been there), and a BIG LIE of the devil to keep you from moving forward in life. See, the truth is how can you move on if you do not forgive yourself? God has forgiven you and that to me is good enough. Jesus said it is FINISHED on the cross (John 19:30). and he said this JUST BEFORE he died. think this deeper. It means no matter how much people have condemned you, no matter what they say or do to criticize you for what you had done, it don't matter no more because Jesus died with all your sins. He rose again to give you a new hope and for you to start over. Your past is finished and you can now  move on.

and you might say, I am struggling with this or with that, and I have been trying to stop but I can't. say this to yourself. I WILL stop. say it again and then again and believe it!

But honey, you CAN NOT stop on your own (I say this again because I have been there! more than once or twice lol). hmm, we feel like we can just be disciplined enough to stop doing things. ah, wrong!
God sees your heart and can give you grace. see, especially as Christians, we need to learn to ask God to help us out. He is such a gentleman and if you do not ask him you might just keep going around in circles. Like I said discipline is not enough. I will give you a simple example.

A few months ago I noticed that I started becoming gluttony.  lol, like see, I am not a foodie, but I wanted to eat everything I saw (smh), it did not matter if I was hungry or not, if I had just eaten or not, or if I just had that same thing or not, if it was there I wanted it! I was not happy about this and wanted it to stop! I tried discipline, told myself that I wouldn't be greedy but e no work lol. But until I prayed about it and asked God to help me I did not go past it.. (soo don't be afraid to invite me for dinner lol) ...

Philippians 4:13 you can do ALL things (not some, ALL) things through Christ. so ask God for help and he will definitely be there. 1 COR. 10: 13 reminds us that we won't be tempted beyond what we can handle and that means you will go through this and successfully. Det 31:6 reminds us that God will NEVER leave us or forsake us. So you should ask him to help you, to lead you and you will be fine :)

Also, recognize that you are growing, some of these things you are angry with yourself about were okay once upon a time. God sees your heart and he will help you through. channel your anger on determination to stop, not at yourself but at what you are doing. you should pray about it and work towards it as well. I believe that at every given point,  there is something that is a working progress in our lives to make us better people. so darling, you will get through this :)

  Prayer + work = Winning :D 

and if you are reading this and you want a new start through Christ, wondering about who the Lord is, you should try him out (Honey, you will never know till you try). He already loves you and he is ready to work through things with you. Say a simple prayer and ask that he comes into your life, that he reveals himself to you and that you have a personal life-changing relationship with him. trust me, he will come through and he is waiting for you.

So People, go ahead and be happy, and let go of everything that is holding you back. INCLUDING YOUR PAST AND UN-FORGIVENESS. You need to move forward and God wants you to move forward.... Remember, You are NOT that person any more, you are a changed man!

Love y'all

Abi Tobi
P.S. I love this song!!

Monday, September 17, 2012

not late

it's never too late to try something new
It's never too late to smile
to apologise
to forgive

it's not too late to reach out
never too late to love
not late to be loved

it's not too late to get a degree
to watch your dreams come true
it's never too late to heal

it's not late to believe
to hope and to believe
it's never too late
NOT too late to live ....  

Monday, August 27, 2012

I will Find My Way ..

I will find my way
In the dark,
feeling the shape of my shadow
slowly through the sound of silence

I will find a way
in the bright morning sun
when the glory of the sun
steals my sight
and when I am too happy to think

I will find my way in the forest
where hungry Lions look for prey
when all they want
is the taste of my beautiful skin

I will find my way in this world
no matter what might come my way
even in the cold winter night
when my blanket has been taken away
when I need warmth and find none

I will find my way
in confusion
when all I see
is the blurriness of my future

I will find my way no matter what
because I do not walk on this path on my own

I will find my way for sure
because he is my way
my truth and my life (John 14:6)
and because I am in him
and him in me
all things will be (and are) beautiful

I will find my way
because I find peace in his words
and confidence in his promises

I will find my way always
because I walk side by side with him
because the Lord is with me ...

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

First Date Rules.. Safety Measures and Precautions

First! I need to get a beautiful camera! seriously! I have all these great ideas but need a camera to share them in FULL!

So please advice on what brand to get and what mega pixel. I do not necessarily want a professional one just something decent :D .. Moving on, I will have a series of "First Date Rules" and I am planning to have lots of fun with it and I hope you guys do too..

Okay soo this post is inspired by Myne Whitman in Safety Tips for Social Media  ... She gave some tips on how to be safe from social media and it got me thinking like "You know what! people also get scammed or abused by their "date". Especially if the person is a new friend or someone who nobody really knows etc.

So here are things I do personally to prevent myself from the wolves of this world (inserts innocent face*)  :

-- Meet at a Public Place: hmm... yes! I think it is to early to be hanging out alone in secluded areas like his apartment (or yours) or a drive out of town. Like I said, if this person is not a known friend, BE CAREFUL! You can do a dinner and movie night (sounds sooo boring?) but it works! or go to the park or skating  or go-carting, whatever it is, be in a public place.

--- Drive: If you are a girl and can drive you should. You two can meet at your "date venue". It is only the 1st night and you have nothing to lose :) .. If you cannot drive or do not own a car, ask where you are going and make sure someone knows you are going with him. Make sure you ask to be home early as well.

Though I would rather find my way there if he is a stranger and after the whole date, I can decide if he will drop me home or tell him "I have to meet up my friends" ;)

--- Research: *coughs* I have some friends who need to be FBI agents haha. So basically, what we do is an internet search on the guy, to see if the internet has interesting information on him. Might be negative or positive. We also stalk his Facebook or Twitter to see if we can get anything. These things help the decision process :D ... and more, can prevent one from a criminal for instance.  This is actually fun because you can ask questions based on these things and pretend you do not know just to know if s/he will lie or not.

--- Basic Information: Do not give out lots of information about yourself. He has your number already and probably knows what company you work for/what school you go. Just basic information. Nothing about personal stuff.  Remember it is only the first date.

So ladies and gents, those are some things I do (Esp for strangers). please share your ideas and other ways you prevent yourself from falling into the wrong hands.

Mexican Style Snack!

Hello my beautiful people!

It is a crazy summer here in Edmonton, it's super super hot this minute (like a heat wave) and then chilly the next minute. Like I always say, the weather here is BIPOLAR!!

Anyways, last Friday at work, I got soo hungry  (did not bring lunch *go figure*) and did not want to spend too much on food. I promise, I am not cheap or an 'ijebu' I am just "financially smart" :P .. lol.. So I walked down to the drug store to "shop" for food.  and I discovered something delicious!

I am pretty sure some of you think my discovery is old news but I will go on either ways. I came across this container of potato chips called "Stack Ups" (Jalapeno Flavor)  for $1.29 (I think) and salsa "New Tostitos" (Restaurant Style) ($3.49)  and bought them. I tell you, I brought Mexico to work people!! Tasting my potato chips dipped into the tositos,  I felt like I was in a Mexican restaurant nipping on appetizers ...

The stack-up thing tastes beautiful I tell you! and somewhat better than its' competitors (my opinion). The best part is that it is cheaper!  The only thing is it seems to be sold only in Canada. and for those who want to know, it is produced locally by Rexall Brands Corp. I should upload a picture but my camera is far away :( .. okay will do once I get it.. but for now I have the salsa on this post.

You can do your quick Mexican snack at home too! it's delicious! and maybe use Pringles or Lays potato chips

With Loads of Love,
Abi Tobi

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Fashion Help!

Hello All!

!)  I have this really really cute white lace skirt that I am dying to wear. I have had it for about a month and half now and I still do not know what to wear with it. My friend's birthday is coming up and she wants us all to dress up! and to look like working-class, "I can do it all by myself" ladies and to look like take away lol..  so you have an idea of what to suggest.......

Since the skirt has a lot going on... I want to wear very simple shoes. I have these black pair of booties I wanna wear and they are pretty simple and nice. Most of my platforms are sorta high and I really do not want my skirt to appear shorter than they already are -- .. but I am open to your ideas :)

So with that in mind.. what colors,  top, or top+blazer combo and accessories will look good and fit the occasion?

!!)  I also have a pair of chiffon pink shorts, I am also dying to wear (lol). I have had it for a while too :$ .. It's pretty simple, made to be free, and has a belt hole. . and with this one, I do not know what to do to make my whole outfit look very unique, simple, nice + classy..

My shorts are pretty simple, nothing except for the belt hole and fit (on me :D) makes it exceptional but I love it. Please advice me on what to wear with, colors, shoes and accessories included.

- Thankies

Much Love

Monday, August 13, 2012

My Help

I will lift up mine eyes to the hills
From whence cometh my help
my help cometh from the Lord
The Lord which made heaven and earth

He said he will not suffer thy foot
thy foot to be moved
The Lord which keepeth thee
He will not slumber nor sleep

Oh  the Lord is thy keeper
The Lord is thy shade
Upon thy right hand
Upon thy right hand

No! The sun shall not smite thee by day
nor the moon by night
He shall preserve thy soul
even forever more

My Help
My Help.. My Help
ALL of my help cometh from the Lord

(I will focus on you Lord)
(Will not take my eyes away from you, Jesus)
(will not get distracted Lord)
(My greatest Friend in time of need)
(He is my strength)
(all of my Help cometh from the Lord)

By -- Song by  Jackie Gouche Farris
         Psalm 121

Saturday, August 11, 2012

When my Mind is Clouded

When my mind is clouded
burdened and unstable
when I can't smile in the rain
or sing my favorite song

When my mind is clouded
and the words don't come out right
when I find no ears to listen
no hands to hold
when I don't want to ask

When my mind is filled with worries
the shame of sharing my pains
when I am left confused
hiding my tears
behind a smile

when my mind is clouded
and I can't even pray

Saturday, August 4, 2012

Is Love Enough?


If you were anything like me, you were probably  glued to the TV watching Disney cartoons and reading the books over and over and over  as a child. From Cinderella to Snow White, Rapunzel, Beauty and the Beast, Little Mermaid etc I learned so many lessons (or not!). About love and marriage and my "Prince Charming". I learn't that if two people love each other, they will live happily ever after (WRONG!) ! and that every girl has a "Prince Charming"  and he will be REALLY REALLY GOOD LOOKING ( ehhh ..), perhaps, the one every girl wants to be with (na so?). But I won't have to fight to have him, he will want me, and he will do everything to have me (Okay, but in real life if a man wants you he will def do anything he can to get you and keep you! so this one is half-ly true sha lol, I can't be doing "cat and dog" to have a man, if he wants me, he has to work to have me (FULL STOP) hehe..)

Even in Hollywood movies, most chic flicks remind  us of the importance of love in intimate relationships. They mostly tell us that if you truly love each other nothing will separate you two.  So is love enough to live happily ever after? Will every day of our married/dating lives be filled with ONLY love, mushy-mushy-feelings, hugs- and -kisses? Let's keep in mind that love means different things to everyone.

I would say NO! Love is definitely not enough. again: IT'S NOT ENOUGH! and there is not such thing as "happily ever after" ...  In as much as it is very important,there are other factors that make it work. Before I proceed I have come up with a definition of intimate love... eros - love between lovers.

When you understand, are ready to accept, are very satisfied to take on the responsibility  that your number one priority after God is to make your partner happy. When you truly understand the meaning of "2=1" ... and when their joy becomes yours. and  when this responsibility gives you peace. In that when "he/she smiles, your world is alright"  --(that quotation is from a movie lol) ........ and when your partner feels exactly that way for you and you have a confirmation in your heart.   -- I got the bulk of this definition from a young Adults' conference I went to

-- Just wanted a chance to throw it out there lol. But there will be times in a loving relationship where you forget this, when your lover just annoys you, or when it feels like you can't place what you are doing wrong, when love won't be enough to save the relationship. There are other factors that help to keep a strong healthy relationship.

  • Mutual Likeness and Respect: Yes! You need to like each other naturally, as friends. You definitely need friendship in your relationships. You need to understand the meaning of sacrifice and being there for each other, not as lovers, but as friends. The fact that they are especially special, it should not feel like stress when you need to go an extra-mile. You should cos you want to be there as a friend. Respect goes a long way too. 

  •  Patience and Understanding: Ha! This one is so important. You need to learn when to react or shut up. Need to know when to over-look things. You also need to really know the person, soo much that no one else can describe them more than you. Understanding your partner and  his/her needs helps to save a lot of headaches in relationships. 

  • Communication and Trust: The fact that you overlook things doesn't mean should not communicate. Key word: COMMUNICATE, the hearer is listening, and the talker is actually passing a message across. Communication strengthens understanding your partner. You need to trust your partner too, I really do not understand how a relationship can work without mutual trust.
I also believe that many young couples (crazy about each other) run into marriage without thinking of some factors outside of love that might cause trouble like 10, 15 or 20 years into the marriage,  Don't say that's too faar into the future, almost everything to me is an investment so I look at the long-term more than the short term. 

So before you say "I DO" think about the following:

  • Personal Goals: If I meet a guy that I am absolutely in love with and he tells me he plans to work in the military. My dear readers, it won't work. I respect people who serve their countries and I respect their families EVEN MORE! But I  can't be worrying day and night worried about how my man is. I can't be having sleepless nights.  Another example, if a man I love sees his wife to be a full-time house wife, abeg! I am not his. I will be bored to death. To be honest, there are somethings we can not compromise.  So talk about your personal long-term goals, not as a couple but as a single person. If it's something you can't deal with, my dear, save yourself the trauma now.

  • KIDS: Oh yes! not everyone should have kids and not everyone wants to. So does this guy or girl want children. This thing causes a lot of wahala. Don't go thinking you will/ you can change their minds about it. Some people would rather water their love for you and build their careers as well instead of having kids. If you want some and he or she does not, there is no point.

  • Family and the relationship with the family: I went there! So if his/her family hates you, and your partner is one who will take his/her family's words over any other, even when it is not logical to do so, I think you should rethink. It's worse if your partner can't defend you, or help them accept you. I know that most times, families are a working progress but watch your partner's reactions to it. If he/she won't defend you now,  it will be hard to defend you when you are finally married. If it is something you can cope with fine! but if not, talk to your lover, maybe you both can think of ways to get you to have a better relationship with the family, maybe your partner can bend a bit to save your relationship.

  • The Holy Spirit: I believe that the reason why we have lots of christian marriages failing is because people were so impatient that they did not wait to hear from God. They mistook confirmation with the flesh with confirmation with the spirit. and because people are not ready to persevere anymore.  So the fact that you both genuinely love each other doesn't mean he/she is the one. Also, it doesn't mean another person will not love you even more. What if God wants you to date this person to learn one or two things from him, things to prepare you for the right one. An older friend said to me once that one might have a beautiful relationship that might go to south but we do not know weather that relationship is to help make way for someone else in like 20 years. There is a reason for everything and in as much as we might not understand why somethings happen the way they do, it is better to listen to the voice of God. If you do not have peace in your spirit about your relationship, it is better to pray about it and let God direct you, and to do what he has said you should. At the end, ALL THINGS  work together for good to them that love thee.

So yes, love is not enough, we need more! Love is like the foundation, it is like the seed you plant. But the other factors are the nutrients, the water and  the sunshine that makes it grow and makes it stronger. So much that even When winter comes, and The strong wind blows be it a tornado or hurricane, you will still stand strong.

With this I leave you with this song,which will be one of the songs that will play at my wedding... one of the ones I and my MR. Right will dance to first as MR& MRS lol (p.s. I have no ring or plans yet but I definitely know what songs will be playing haha)    

Olomi -- By Tosin Martins

Have a Lovely Weekend Guys!
Strawberry Kisses
Abi Tobi 

Tuesday, July 24, 2012


I want to say a special thank you to all my readers who stayed even though I went MIA... to all people I follow who did not stop writing cause I had been missing  :p ... I love you! 

and to someone who reminded me of how much I love blogging, who encouraged everyday to start blogging again, .. you know who you are, and you are always a blessing to me.

It has been about 3 months before I blogged on Sunday .. Saying I was busy isn't an excuse at all... see we all find that "excuse" easy to throw around.. so no, I won't say that... I can't say I know why I went MIA but I can say I almost had no place in my head for myself.. I was almost lost for a while (and no, I am not crazy!) 

But I missed writing, I missed the ability of clearing my head, the way it makes me feel, I miss the eagerness to read "soo and soo's " blog, what they had to say about certain things... I missed the blood that rushes through my veins, anxious to know if I am delivering to readers... I missed the blog-ville community, the "advisers" "sweet-hearts" "opinionated" "fun" "fashion-bloggers" "pastor-Miss's, Mrs and Mr's" ... I missed you all...

But What I missed the most is running to my computer to offload thoughts in my head (there for days, or weeks or months) that clears my mind. I missed having a path to be a bit sane-- (no! I am not crazy (-___-) it is my way of letting out the extrovert in me...

I won't say I won't go MIA again... but I hope not anytime soon...

mucho amor

Strawberry kisses**

Abi Tobi

Sunday, July 22, 2012

I want ...

There are a few things I want to do
Running away from who I am? no
Dying to my values and standards? no

Wishful thinking--- that for a moment, a day or two
My sense of carefulness sleeps; goes on a journey
That maybe I might enjoy what my neighbor does
that my carefulness stops being fear

I want to close my eyes and feel the world
the beauty and beauty of it
I want to lose myself to happiness
That I may never be found without full peace

I want the storm in my heart be still
That I hear myself think
 I want to go on a journey
meet diverse people
dance to a new song
--I want my own beautiful journey
God's own plan for me

I want her to look in my eyes
and believe the truths in my heart
that I won't bring shame..
I want her to know I can be the best
and I would...

I want to walk on the streets
-- a hand of blessing
-- an avenue for smiles
I only want love, genuine love in my heart

I want people to see
that my silence might not mean hatred,
or malice or an avenue to ignore
It is sometimes a path to find myself..
to re-connect to who I should be

I want to be understood...
at least at the minimum...

Monday, April 9, 2012

If I could re-do Post Secondary Part 2

If I could re-do post secondary,
I would right my wrongs
yes, live it perfectly well

but perfection comes with little lessons
with my regrets, I have my smiles;
intellectually and emotionally, I have grown

I have learned that plans will fail you
That people will forsake you
and all your ambitions might not be

I have learned to study myself
understand that flexibility is key
that my planned career might not be mine
and that if I fail in somethings,
it is for direction

I have learned to be strong
to smile in the midst of sad marks
sad situations
to buckle-up.

I have learned to see the smart in everyone
no one is soo stupid
everyone has a light in him/her.

Post secondary is not all about grades
it's everything.
Pass through your school
Let your school pass through you.

I have learned that in school,
your grades shouldn't be the number 1 motivator
Your thirst for knowledge should
for with understanding,
You will excel

though, I wish I could turn back time
I have little regrets
There are lessons learn't

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Today is a NEW day

I woke up this morning,
a little reluctant to get off my bed
hugging my blankets
and hitting the snooze off

and I remembered yesterday,
that I had been cheated,
heart broken, looked-down on,
hurt, taken for granted...
and that I cried

So I turned around,
and tried to sleep my pains away
but I felt pain in my heart..
Felt like today will be like yesterday.

Then, my heart whispered to me,
reminded me that today is another day
brand new for a new purpose
Reminded me that if God is for me
Who are the cheaters, liars, or "judges" ?

My spirit told me the importance of today;
to prove myself, to myself.
I am who I believe I am.
I am also who God says I am.
It's up to me.

So, I got up and set new rules
I reminded myself that everything happens for a reason
That every hurt comes with a lesson;
they are to make me better
not to make me stop, give up or grumble

That people who disapprove of me do not matter
and there is a new movie out there I can watch
and a new dance I can learn
and a joke that will make me cry from laugher

and that I have beautiful dreams,
that my story had just begun
and it will be beautiful.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Music: My Soul Medicine

The fastest way from planet earth
taking me anywhere I want to be
Means of transportation across all emotions

Whether high or low
I find a place in you
For God made you my gift

Allowing me to dance away my pains
Immersed in my feelings
Happy or sad.....
Rhythm to my soul 

Spiritual healing, spiritual growth
the deepest way to express love to my Savior
to dance to him, to jump to him

And when my soul feels lost or alone
I find a message in you
Feed my mind with your messages
[ GODLY messages that is]
My fastest way to feel hope

My soul medicine
God created you for me
To make me know I can enjoy life
that I can dance like no one is watching
and love as deep as HE loves me
 and I will feel pain but find healing

Music is a blessing to humanity from God
To help us express all our emotions
or relax our souls..........♥       

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

If I could re-do Post Secondary Part 1

If I could do it all over
I would move out of  home in my first year
Be more organized, study ahead of time

If I was given my years back
I would try new things
Run for a position in school
a lil' bit of college politics

I would invest in more volunteer hours,
meet more people
and attend more social events

If I was given another chance
I wouldn't miss any class.....
....for a "lazy" reason
I would burn more night candles

If I could do it over again
I would move out of home
Invest in the school-life experience
Find my customized study techniques
and not copy someone else's
Let go of my fears
and enjoy the ride a little more .....

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Are you Asking Why?

Hi blogsville! my life has been up and down.. literally :( but how are u guys doing? I miss miss blogsville and am looking forward to read all the amazing topics you all have posted!... :D

Anyways, today, I was thinking of people who wait for a miracle and feel like they are waiting in vain. And people who struggle soo much but still believe somehow that there is a father up there who will make a way for them. And in some situations, things start to get worse. and suddenly, it starts to feel like God is purposely closing his ears to your prayers, like nothing will ever get better. 

and then I stumbled on this song "Are you listening" and it lifted my spirit .... It just reminded me that I am not alone and that you are not alone  

So please don't give up on God, he has not given up on you. He is only preparing a much better story for you..... whether you lost your loved one, trying to get a job, lost a job, in poverty, ill, need answers on questions, just can't figure out life or whatever it might be... Don't give up... keep believing...

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Sexual Healing

"The truth is your body makes a promise, whether you do or not"  .... Enjoy!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Happy New Year................

Happy New Year Blogsville! I know it will be an amazing year....

A few things I am going to incorporate in this year:

  • No more sitting and complaining: a thankful heart goes a long way. I learnt recently that God feels encouraged to bless us more when we are grateful with the little we have even though they fell below expectations. A thankful heart can't be faked. It comes from within
  •  To take hold of every good opportunity that comes my way. I was assessing myself and I realised that somethings have passed me by because I was sacred of the unknown, or because my parents were not in total support. All my fault. It's all going to change this year
  • I will finally sign up for a dance class and or a yoga class
  • I will have a fun-filled vacation
  • To wait and listen to God, to learn to recognise when he speaks. Seriously, I am not the best Christian on the block. I have my flaws, I sin and sometimes disobey. I just want to be able to listen, to know his plans, and for the grace to walk in that part. For wisdom to deal with it and to learn to enjoy it.
  • I am going to stay happy and positive no matter what. At least I will try :)
  • Am done Undergrad this year people!!! I really wanna move away from this city. I want a job away from here.. God will help us

2012 will be great. I pray for Nigeria and Congo. I pray God fights for the citizens and take away all the greedy, self- absorbed leaders! For restoration and for God to turn and heal our lands.. Amen

Have a wonderfully awesome 2012.

Abi Tobi <3