About Me

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
I am a lot of things - I am limited edition, not weird :) . A Christ Lover and a fashion lover. I love crime and comedy shows (or movies) .. and I always move on no matter what :)

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

PLEASE HELP ME :( ... I want my skin back :'(

I could cry right now... my so beautiful skin is changing and really bad too; I really don't know how it began or what am doing wrong... I think am typing exactly as I would speak about it am soo sad :(  .. This is a plea for help, seriously, I just want to get my skin back

It started when I started applying foundations-- so like in 2008 or so, but it was okay not bad still. Break-outs came (like 1-3 small ones) from time to time but my foundation covered it all up. I used to use the:
  • Maybelline Mineralized foundation.
I don't remember reacting to it at all... I still had a moderately good-facial skin. Then in 2009, I think November or December I started with
  • Mac
I changed because eventhough Maybelline was good, it was really messy, I hate that it used to stain my table and carpet (sometimes)  and that was just stress... People mentioned that Mac suited them really well and all so I deeped in. Oh yeah, that's when I started breaking out but I could cover it up, my face did not feel discolored or anything of the sort... I broke out more in seasons, like during pms and all. And I could deal with it.

In December 2010, I got this make-up box from a friend ( a good friend btw). It has all eye-shadow colors, blushes of different colors and all.. It was like a whole new world lol... since it is one of those things I won't buy but admire, I got really creative. I used colors, applied the blushes from time to time and all of that. I loved it!

But in February 2011, my skin began to fail ... like I was breaking out a lot and it was no longer seasonal. It was like all month-round. I began to panic. I shouldn't have. I wish I thought about what might have triggered it all... so I started asking around. People recommended  St. Ives, Vichy, Clean and Clear, some Natural skin care products and even Black soap... one at a time I tried almost alll of these products but It got worse...

Now I complicated issues because I really don't know what exactly my skin hates, all I wanted was to get rid of everything *sigh*  Oh I switched from Mac Studio fix to the Mineralized Mac in April. My facial skin is pretty oily, I talked to one of the people at Mac and she recommended it, it was okay, I even think there was an improvement. I  was using it with the black soap.. so I washed my face with the soap and applied my foundation.

But in May/ June my face became an explosion like people started asking me what was wrong :( ... It got really bad and the scars won't go *sigh* So I stopped it all. stopped everthing. I threw out the black soap. Stopped applying the foundation. Though I hated what my skin looked like I went out that way except for very very few occasions tho. This went on for like 2-3 weeks. But I had no improvement, it became worse.... at this point I was done!

So natural products din't work, and the best products did not either soo I called up my friend who is a MaryKay Beauty Consultant. And she advised on products. I started using MaryKay in June I think and I got the washer, toner and foundation ... I would admit that there has being some improvement... But it's not steady, it would look really good today and in 3 days I ll see a big pimple or new ones developing. Then early this month, I had food allergies all over my body including my face. They don't know what I reacted to. I did a blood work and I am absolutely fine.. all they said was it's something I ate.

and also, I was my face morning and night and I moisturize it too....

Am soo tired... I never used to have break-outs and I hate that it's stressing me out. Please I need serious help. I need my beautiful skin back like seriously. Right now, I have like 3 new big painful pimples on my face.. will post a picture sometime....

CAN SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE??? AS ANYONE GONE THROUGH THIS? I think it all started from the blushes but apparently my face doesn't accept creativity very well... it created on me instead :( ...

Again, this is a plea from a tired sister looking for her beautiful skin :(

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Drop the Rules ...

I fell in Love with Chris Brown after his Say Goodbye song. Dude is like a bunch of talents in a box. lol... I feel my love rekindling every time I watch the video lol *covers face*


.....ssh..
 am sick of it all
 Love songs; cheese and cliches;
 Stories of heart breaks and pains
 Quiet for a bit
 let me hear myself speak

 Pleassee.......
 No more sweet beautiful lies
 Let reality speak
 Let me feel fresh breeze on my face

 SShh... am sick of it all
 Let me hear myself think
 Let me hear you in my heart
 Stop the rules,
 They torment

 Start as friends
 and let things flow
 On the way,
 you will figure it out...

(... P.S. this is really not personal...  I just want a happy song that doesn't have a love story lol... love can't be as sad as many people paint it, and it can't be as perfect as the rest dress it up to be... It has two sides, and there is the balance... ) 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Please Pay Attention

If you have never been depressed, or don't know what it is like to feel hopeless, stop judging those who are there or who have been. The least you can do is give a hand and be there, or least pray for them. I know my culture (the Nigerian culture) thinks depression is a joke, or some mental disease. It keeps people in denial, people are afraid to accept it and find a way out. This particular write-up is not going to be organized, it will be all over the place, just pick out what you can.

In some of our communities, people might laugh when someone starts acting cold and withdrawn, they are like "she is going crazy" or "she dey kolo just leave am" ... Hells no! That's not the time to leave it is the time to show as much love as you can. I understand that it's hard to keep coming forth to some1 who shuts you out but the lil' things like calling to "check on them" and praying for them helps. We NEED to wake up and start reading in between the lines, if someone who was lively, happy etc just begins to act weird it's depression or might be entering depression 101. So pay attention, if you are one of those who thinks depression is a joke wake up, and pay attention. One of the reasons why more people are commiting suicide in our communities is because we take these things for granted, people around are not paying enough attention. Am not saying they don't care, but people need to pay more attention.

Anytime, I hear the song 'Hello World' by Lady Antebellum I get a lil' teary.... It explains how someone can feel soo hopeless, or can't find a way out but still takes the courage at the peak of all the challenges to move on, and to press on. It touches me every time because at this point, the person is letting it all out to God, telling him to take control after trying too-hard to figure it out. It's not the point where things  are turning around, or when things seem like they will be fine, as I mentioned it's the peak of it all... but it is a start of a new thing. Changing the mindset goes a long way. It's appreciating those little things that we take for granted when it seems like the clouds have gone black...  when we "feel cold as steel broken like we are never gonna heal".... I believe it's strength, some people might even call you crazy, how can any sane human being with his/her life crumbling see light in the dark? believe that God is there and he would answer? especially when it feels like he shut his ears on you. It's hard. It is really hard! But I believe that's the start of everything new, I believe this kind of strength is power, gives God and you a control over your life.... seeing life through the positive even when it's serving you pain. It gives you power over those challenges, it is the point where they stop controlling you, and you start controlling them. It makes you think of a better way out. It allows you to allow God do his work. Remember "You shouldn't tell God how big your problem is, tell the problem how BIG your GOD is" ....

I don't know if this means anything to anyone tho, and I don't know if it's making sense, but like I explained in the beginning it isn't organized, most things I write are usually pre-planned in my head (at least). This wasn't. I just want us all to wake up read between the lines, reach out to friends, families, acquaintances or even "haters" that might be in  this situation. Don't go and tell them "you r depressed" lol, but show more love.



Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Kele Kele Love

I read Giagerry 's Kele Kele Love post and the post just made me laugh! With that and Tiwa Savage's song it makes you think..  people and their ways ehh?

so am gonna act like am naive and ask you guys. This time y'all will entertain me and I will be taking notes from you :p

Sooo...  what is your definition of kele kele love? what are the signs? I know you should flee.. trust me I have also had my fair share of it and it's not a bit fun or funny (until after the fact lol)

Is it only men/boys that "do" kele kele love? are women/girls users of it? say all you wanna say..

You can give examples and soo on.. ..

:)

Saturday, August 13, 2011

Please Don't Leave Me!!



"Eric, Don't leave me, please don't go away, please you are all I have.. please"  She cries her eyes out and pleads as she lifts up her head to him clinging to his pants. He had done everything for her, but she just wants this chance... this very last chance to change, to turn around. He looks at her with anger but love in his eyes and at the top of his voice, "look at what you have done to yourself, I never wanted it like this.. I wanted more" He did not know how to feel anymore, a part of him wants to give her a hug. Wants to assure her that she will never be alone. The other part is totally fed-up. How can any sane man take all of these? How possible is it?

Eric works with J.P. Morgan Chase. One of Wall Street's hottest firms. He came to share his good news, he just got a promotion. But no, it has never being a good news with Tricia. She had passed out again. Drugs. Her life is dictated by drugs.. it's almost like that's all she looks forward to. She only got out of rehab 4 months ago, and moved to her own apartment 3 weeks ago..

There she was (after gaining consciousness) crying again. Tricia is full of regrets and can't stop crying. He had warned her! he promised to leave the last time but gave her the supposed last chance. She deserves every bit of action he will give. She knows it. Tricia hopes her brother won't leave. Her brother who is 5 years younger than she is. He provides for her, and does everything he can for her. His wife is a blessing to humanity, unlike other women, she never stops calling, she never stops helping her out.. so yes, Tricia knows deserves every bit of action they were going to do this time. But she clings tighter as the thoughts of her brother leaving gets clearer. It was like a reality check

Eric and Tricia lost their parents in a car crash about 10 years ago. Eric was only 18, Tricia  was 23. Eric and Tricia are from a good home with responsible parents. They are both graduates, but Tricia found "love", that's when the story began to change... Ecstasy and Marijuana are their names... It started to get really bad about 5 years after they lost their parents...  she lost her job, her boyfriend of 6 years "realized" she wasn't the marriage type so she got into a depressive state and turned to drugs for rescue...

Eric wants to teach a lesson, one or two. One that will remind her that she needs to be willing to give all these away. Will the world blame him for leaving today? What if she over-doses after he leaves? what if it will be the reason she kills herself? BUT what if she never stops? what if she never parts with this dreadful relationship she has being sunk into?

Eric draws his sister close and gives her a tight hug as he tries to decide.....

*** I really don't know the right thing he should do... what will you do if you were in Eric's Shoes? leave? stay? some other way to make her "wake up?" ***



Monday, August 8, 2011

Why Now??

So I realise that I can go on and on and on about some topics or gists, but I get too sensitive to talk about the LOVE of Christ to people. Maybe too shy, maybe too scared. But it is no excuse. First of all, the number 1 reason why I want to tell people about HIM is because of them and no other reason. Especially those I am close to..

I thought of some of my closest friends, those who don't know Christ or do not even believe there is a God. And I felt like I have been somewhat selfish. If I truly love them, why haven't I found the courage to sow a seed in their hearts?? I say I care about them and I want the best of them, but I feel scared to let them in, in the only way I know. If there is anything I know for sure it is that most of these people let me in on their "tricks,"  why haven't I mine?

I think it is because I do not want them to feel like am imposing or as if am judging or like I know better than them. Those are definitely not my intentions.

I don't understand why I am just realizing these, I feel like I only just became born-again in April, 2011. That's how I feel.. like I was lying to myself all these time. Why am I just understanding what my mom has been reading to me all my life? or those messages that have been hammered in my heart all those days at Sunday School? I am beginning to understand why people need to be reminded that they are loved and there is someone up there they can call... who ALWAYS answers.... The other day, my parents where talking about someone my dad knew who killed himself. and my heart told me it's because we Christians are not doing enough. If someone knows for sure that God won't leave them, they won't kill themselves.

If you are Christians how do you start off telling others about Jesus? or do you even? do you have my excuses?


Anyways, here are few things to remember:
  • Mercy says NO! Mercy doesn't consider your sins, it comes  with grace. However, we should not continue doing those things that we ought not to. This is just a reminder that once you have confessed and you are repentant God has forgiven you and expects you to move on
  • Holiness is NOT religion!! Am tired of people being all religious like it's politics or some sort of science. NO!  It should be about your personal relationship with your creator and how you fellowship with him, grow in him, and grow to love him. Not about showing-it-off !!!... the bible says "let your light shine before men"... it never said let your lights shine in their eyes!!
  • We often forget to ask God what we can do for him. We go on and on asking him for how we can be better for own selves. Forgetting relationships go both ways

Friday, August 5, 2011

Bestie ...

Sometimes, I wonder how I stick with my bestie or how she manages to take all of my "attitude" but I love her anyways. She's like my family, like literally, her family is like mine and mine is like hers. When I tell my parents am out with her they are soo fine with it and same with her family too... If am not her chief bridesmaid I will definitely KILL her! lol, joking she has a sister, and we are all close like that...myself and her will be sharing that position lol.

It's funny how two very different people can be soo close, yet she thinks am soo much like her. HELLS-to-the- NO! lol

So lemme introduce you to one of the people who make my boring life a little bearable. Well this girl is a village girl (literally) lol am playing oh! but am serious lol. she's the life of a party and can make friends in an instance, the way she starts conversations just amaze me.. me there, thinking of how not to say awkward things.. she just starts flowing lol *smh* soo she makes most of the friends and introduces me to them :p  Am that friend who will sit by herself and her phone in a corner, and she is that friend who drags me out of my comfort zone. Like in my head am using all these curse words and pleading to be left alone... but then I end up having soo much fun. lol

She doesn't care about anything, she just laughs out loud (literally) lol, and 100% herself wherever, whenever and with whosoever! she will dance in the streets even if everyone laughed at her.. see I won't do these, am a bit shy, I get all oh-so-crazy in my room and with my really good friends... and once in a while when out or when she makes me :(  (bully).

When my friend is in love trust me, she is definitely in-love, she puts in everything to keep her man and to love him. Not for her but for him. I think it's cute. Again, am shy, I give subtle messages, I feel like I shouldn't be giving all of my heart away or at least not soo soon (am saying soon, cos I haven't really lasted in a longterm anything before :$) ; I like to take my time, and I won't say it has always worked for me lol. So yes, sometimes she coaches me when I "don't know how to reply or what to say" and scolds me when I "front or just act mean or do those things I shouldn't be doing to someone am actually interested in." I admit, am a bit selfish, and a lil' scared about certain things, but hey... !

And I can like to act like am mad sometimes lol. Because she will just beg me (heheehhehe) its vice versa don't worry. But there are times when am pissed and she tells me to "go hit ur head on an electric pole" lol. How nice right? So true, we are not scared of telling each other the truth about anything; we scold each other often and it usually helps when someone let's you know when you are crossing the line whether with your life, someone else's or with a situation.

My friend likes to feel like one "BOSS" sometimes tho, when she is sinking, or down or needs help, the girl will be telling me that she is fine. FINE MY FEET! I don't understand how someone won't just allow people to help her, she acts like she can handle it all by herself. I hope she doesn't crash and burn oneday with this her boss-acting behavior.

Am a bit blunt. When am really pissed or irritated you would know. It shows! lol.... Sometimes, I feel like my friend is scared to let whoever she's mad at that he/she crossed the line (apart from me oh! the girl will just change face as if No o, u farted in her mouth *hissss*) ... There is a particular person whose name I won't mention but lives not too far from our city that I wish I met face-to-face. That person deserves some blunt talk and attitude in the brains, from me and my friend's sister. But nah, we are more than that. But seriously, if I could have, I would have.

She lives life as it comes, sometimes I do too.. but I like to plan, like to have a rough sketch of the future... I sometimes want to relax and let things be but something in my head makes me plan

And we are in public and "gisting" "hot-gist" and my friend gets sooo excited that her voice just gets loud lol... I have given up telling her to reduce her voice *smh*

And when her and some of our other close friends are there, spending hours on wedding pictures and dreaming about theirs and like pfff....Why will I spend hours on pictures and hours on pictures and hours analyzing them??? *confused* BUT sometimes I, her and those other friends, dream dreams lol.... those dreams about hot guys, those ones that will love us and will write songs/sing for/to us (lol that's mine!) ... those with sexy accents and gorgeous bodies, and sexy cars and  good jobs and with hearts after God's....  that will love us die!  *sigh* *dreams away* (okay! am done dreaming) But we all dream those dreams together

I love my bestie and she's more like a sister to me, she pisses me off sometimes, and she can be bit tooo-out-going or carefree, and we irritate each other often. But I gotta admit, people like me need at least one of her lol...  It's never a dull moment trust me!

xx