About Me

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
I am a lot of things - I am limited edition, not weird :) . A Christ Lover and a fashion lover. I love crime and comedy shows (or movies) .. and I always move on no matter what :)

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Last Shall be the First

I don't know why my mind picks on a few words and just meditates on it. It feels like the only sentence I have been hearing for some weeks now is "The Last Shall be the First."  ....    I have heard this and even read myself in the bible soo many times, but it was on father's day at church. They showed a presentation where kids explained what they expected parents to do.
Soo one of the kids said "To teach me that the last shall be the first".. felt like I only just heard it for the 1st time. ... like it only just became clear to me...

It's all about me
And everything I own
And the things I have built,
only I can control and enjoy

I see desperation in her eyes
But I don't have to be there
I know I have the answer to his prayers
But I have a choice to withhold
Am not hurting anyone, but I worked for this

It all came crashing
All my hands had built
And when I looked around
My world was cold and empty
Hunger wouldn't kill me
Tears won't drown me
Then I remember a lady once said
"..and the First Shall be The Last"

I turned around and saw a friend
Was a friend.
His life was crumbled too
But you could hardly tell
New doors were opening
His life was taking form again

I had laughed at him
He was "too nice"
Almost always there
A helping hand,
and a giving heart

And again I remember that lady saying:
" .. And the Last Shall Be The First..."

But those we saw on our highs
Are those who see us now;
from their highs.
And I remember that lady saying:
" .. And the Last Shall Be The First..."

So here I am
Wishing I had put others first
At least, sometimes....

Abi Tobi

 Btw.. my friend has this idea to write a story by as many people as possible on her blog. So U will be writing the story too. It already started, You have to read what others have posted, it's supposed to be fun, interesting but PG13 PLS (LOL)

Soo If you are interested visit: Giagerry at:   http://geeconnect.blogspot.com/2011/06/story-by-blogsville.html  
have fun posting. 

Currently Listening to:

Give me everything-        Pitbull
Good to you-                 Marianas Trench
Today-                           Kirk Franklin
Just a Kiss -                   Lady Antebellum
Cowboy Casanova-       Carrie Underwood 

and am leaving you with Cowboy Casanova :) 

Thursday, June 23, 2011

time to Dump Him???

soO I was at work listening to the radio and this girl emails saying:

".. Hi, I love my boyfriend, but I can't stand his stinky smell... He has long greasy hair and doesn't shower enough.....  I feel embarrassed when I walk into a restaurant with him.. feels like the waitress can smell him..."

And the radio presenter gave some cool advice like; get him some gifts that help, like a shower gel, some perf, etc.. the best of all the advices was "DUMP HIM AND DATE A METRO SEXUAL"

YEP? nOpE?

hahahaha! That made me laugh I dunno why.... Well, I don't mind a metro sexual tho... okay there are two types. There is the first group. They have a good sense of color, they don't mind going shopping, not scared of wearing colors like pink or purple or orange.. might not be too in touch with designers but have a good sense of fashion... If I see no "gay tendencies" it's okay. There is nothing wrong with a man who likes to look good, and who can give me fashion tips (just saying...)

YeSS? NoO?
Then ther's the other group OMG! They are very very into themselves; and prolly take more pictures than I do (ha! I can like to pose sometimes o) .. They are same as the first group but more... they might even use mascaras and nail hardeners (I just can't) prolly spend more time dressing up than me (I JUST CAN'T) , very tanned, hair always gelled or stands etc ... etc ....I dunno...  

Sooo ladies would you date a metro sexual?? Guys what do u think?  amm sure everyone knows who a metro sexual is but to be clear they are STRAIGHT! "a heterosexual man who spends a lot of time and money on his appearance and likes to shop" (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/metrosexual) ...

.Currently listening to  "Give me Everything" by Pitbull ft. Neyo ..


Wednesday, June 15, 2011


She stares right at me
Her eyes piercing like she reads me
I disagree: but in my heart
I know she lies NOT

Lies or truths
I can't even tell
But she whispers to me
making guilt eat me up

But I haven't said anything,
not done anything,
Just looking right back

I look closely, and...
She's me; my reflection
She speaks my mind

I said nothing
But fear is here again
Is it time to run again?
I don't want to...

But.... It's attractive
Is it safe? Is it right?  
Not really; my mind says no
but... It is just interesting, exciting,
absorbing, adventorous...

But guilt is here
She whispers:
" will you stay? "
I say:
" time will tell.. I have no answer.."

**BTW* aside from the fact that the picture helps to explain the poem, I LOVE  LOVE this shade of lipstick and nail polish :P**

Monday, June 6, 2011

Tara's Darkness

..... what type of punishment is this? Tara thinks to herself... She has been locked in her room for 3 days now, no access to sunlight except for the rays from her room, her cell-phone and computer taken away.. She came home at 9.15pm on Thursday night (15 mins after her curfew)... and this is her punishment.

As she hears keys shuffle in the key hole she shivers, her lunch is here... her heart begins to race. This isn't new to Tara, this is an example of her dad's perfect "discipline." Tara is a 16 year old girl who is (miraculously) full of life. She's the only child of her parents and her mom left when she was 5. Her dad is all she knows and he never really told her why mom left; he says; " she just got tired."

Tara pushes her food to the side and can't stop thinking about this prison she calls a home. She began to wonder why her mom left... did she get beaten, raped, financially or emotionally abused too? Tara gets a flash-back to when she got into a fight at school (she was 12). The "popular" girls tried to cheat her and she taught them a lesson. News got to her father. And.......

...... Dad called her to his room to explain what happened; with the usual ritual he said calmly "well, you know you are going to get punished" Tara never knows what her next punishment would be; it is usually something new.  He took a drive out and came back with two skanky looking women. Tara's punishment was to watch. Another time, he forced her... she cried and begged but the slaps just kept getting worse. He raped her.

No one knows what she secretly goes through. Her dad is financially well-off. Tara is more than financially comfortable. She gets some weekly allowance, some money to shop, goes to a prestigious high-school.. and so on...... It's the punishments she doesn't understand. Why not ground her, or take away her phone for a week or something... ??

They moved to British Columbia from Mexico when Tara was 7. Dad barely keeps a long-term friend; in fact, he usually comes back from work  and then to work again. His regulars  are work-parties and cocktails.

Tara is part of a dance group at school, she is also on the volleyball team. Dad has never missed any of her performances or games... He is always there.  So see, everything is fine so far Tara doesn't "go wrong."

.... ...   Tara sometimes thinks of running away but where to? She thinks of talking to someone but she loves her dad; though he appears to be a monster sometimes.. and even when she wants to hate him, she just can't. .. "well it's only 2 years before I go away for College" she thinks...
But what happens before then?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

A lil' bit of ...

Uncurling and crawling out
New day it is...

It's a morning race
hearts in the mouth
tick, tack tick tack.... "am not gon' be late"
the "hallelujah" song... the bus din't leave

Morning smiles
Stinks that kill
The grumpy and the talker
cute little kids
School children in;
Naive; secret is out
loud (unnecessary) laughs......
..........trip downtown

well dressed..
"koi koi" ladies make silent noises
honks.... honks.... "move away, can I drive in!!"
morning breeze, fresh coffee
bakery smells......
The crowd; everyone trying to race
but keeping their "cool"
......Mornings downtown...

Okay, okay, let's all snap out of it.....it's not like I live in downtown Paris, or Montreal or Manhattan lol.. I live in Edmonton, and for those who that know where that is; it's in Alberta.. and Alberta is in Canada lol.... But I love it here I love the not soo "crazy" downtown/ life here ... Might be wondering why am all "downtown-ing" Well, I just completed my 2nd week at my co-op placement (or internship position) and I love it already.. I get the opportunity to do some writing, some accounting work, learn about social policy ..etc.... so ya, am excited to learn :D

hmmm.... I had been searching for a placement for about 8 months and trust me I had given-up when I got this offer.. and it's like God was secretly working it out for me *sigh* .. .. the morale of my story is never give-up, never ever stop praying or believing in God ... in his time he makes all things beautiful :)

I also wanna say I love blogsville and thanks to everyone who comes here to read mine and for those who keep me occupied with their amazing stories, or poems, points of view etc.. luv ya all....  Well, am still very happy and should say peaceful (it's a new thing). I think it's because am slowly discovering and loving who God is....

Some of the songs I am loving loving loving ATM :)

Simple Plan  - Jet Lag
Usher        --  More
I was here  -- Lady Antebellum
S & M      --  Rihanna
Adele         -- One & Only
Chris Brown-  Greatness
Chris Brown-  She ain't You
Kirk Franklin-  Give me
Kirk Franklin-  I smile

BTW.. I was gon' leave y'all with the video of  S&M but errrr that video (no comments)
so it's More and DJ got us falln' in love (Enjoy :)  )