About Me

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Calgary, Alberta, Canada
I am a lot of things - I am limited edition, not weird :) . A Christ Lover and a fashion lover. I love crime and comedy shows (or movies) .. and I always move on no matter what :)

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays

Merry Christmas to all fellow bloggers and readers and followers.. even those of you who tell me randomly that you visit my blog, thanks. I appreciate all of you.

Remember Jesus Christ is the reason for the season, spread his love...

Kisses* and Hugs*
Abi Tobi

Saturday, December 3, 2011

My Love is Past

I wrote this poem early 2009 or late 2008.  it wasn't my intention to share it at first, it was supposed to be this piece that made me proud of myself - that reminded me that I can let go of anything and anyone especially if they shouldn't have been in my life in the first place. But a friend of mine read it and insisted I published it on facebook X_X.. I did and I was amazed at the feedback.  I called it "My Love is Past" ... Enjoy :)

Ooo... my heart, my head and thoughts
I drift to the days I dreamt of him;
When I thought d whispers of my name from him will calm the storm
When I thought his kiss will heal my pains
When I thought my world was built around him
Blinded by lust called love;
Not really lust because it went beyond physical,
Not infatuation because it wasn’t sexual,
And if it was love, then I want it no more,
It was undefined... not love, lust, crush, or infatuation.

My nights were full of bags of eyes,
And my pillow dripping with tears,
With a river of worry and discomfort in my heart,
I had fallen for the wrong one
Unsure of his love for me;
And with thoughts that he didn’t care, ripping me in two,
And with little thoughts that he did genuinely, making my heart skip faster

Blinded by lust called love;
Not really cause it went beyond d physical.
Being hot and cold;
Holding me like he never wants to let go
And when sight causes a distance,
I stare at my phone waiting for him to ring
He hardly did.... It made me sick.
And sometimes, he did
.... It made me smile

Being there and not
With his tongues of lies and deceit
He told me I was the world to him
And the scales stayed in my eyes.
I had fallen for the wrong person

My love is past
I want no more
For my bags of eyes, and heart of scars
Were tired of pains

And free like a bird I am
Am better without him..

The scales fell off...
My life came back.. .. ... .. :)


Wednesday, November 30, 2011


P.S. I drafted this around Summer I  really don't know why I never published it tho

Hello blog-lovers!! How are y'all doing?

Like never, I will explain this poem before typing away... It will be the first time am putting it down, but I know exactly how it will go. It will be simple, short and clear. It's about the human mind, doubts, fear and our insecurities.

Disclaimer: This poem isn't about me- as almost all the time-.

Longing all night,
wondering if he still cares?
Why come home drunk tonight?
It is our anniversary
Why not wait for me
We used to together
Am I no longer fun?

Was that a kiss of denial
Like Judas, Is he selling me lies with a kiss?
Why tired of me now?
should it always be about me?
How I feel?
What about him?

I rant and cry
Get mad and walk away
If he cares he will come
But did he  really do anything wrong?
Was he right for staying away?
Do I  call or not?
Will I look desperate if I did?

Am not insecure
I just want to be sure

Sunday, November 27, 2011

Some hidden truths about Immigrants

Hey y'all! how is it going.... it's a beautiful morning (this is me trying to be positive) well... except for the fact that it is winter :$... the weather is not too bad today (only a few degrees, if you lived in Alberta you will be greatful too :p) .. Plus am blogging from my blackberry and it feels good. I feel like some sorta business/ career lady doing "work" that she loves hehehehehhe.... But I did not finish it that morning ... so the feeling was half? X_X

Anyways, I had promised to write from an insider's point of view about immigrants and I got some motivation today, so let's get to business. I will say that there are lots of misconceptions about people who leave a developing country like Nigeria or Ghana or Romania to a developed country like Austrialia, USA or Canada. People in your home country think you have hit it BIG no! HUGE! like it's all  going to be milk and honey and perhaps, maybe a money tree behind your house. Well, you understand what I mean... It feels like your life is finally going to have some shape or form?

hmm... it is a somewhat good feeling when you are leaving to somewhere that has more opportunities for you, your wife and especially your children, but it is not soo black and white. Before I move on, am writing for people who legally moved to a developed country. KEY WORD: LEGALLY!!! ... now, I can proceed :)

First, most immigrants were at least a little above average in their level of comfort if not, they would not have been able to afford processing the permanent resident visas. Processing these visas and so on is not cheap. It is expensive. Secondly, it has to do with a lot of emotional and psychological change. They leave their loved ones (friends and family) to a land where they know little (maybe from vacations) or nothing about. They prolly had maybe one or two friends or family there and have to start building networks all over again

Thirdly, no one tells them their chances of getting a job. Okay, some people get very lucky or highly favored by God. Some people worked with an international firm back home like KPMG or Shell, these people have higher chances of securing a job here, they could get a transfer or just apply.  Some people apply and it comes. While many others have to get off their high horse, forget everything or almost all accomplishments from their home countries and start over.

Start over, I mean go back to school, get an upgrade before getting a sensible job. It usually takes longer for people in the health-care line. They have to get their papers right before their degrees or experiences are recognized.

So what does starting over mean for you and your family. It means degrading. Well, if you look at it from one perspective, it is investing. If you are ready to do the work, it will be worth it. The good news is after 12 months of residency, it becomes easier to apply for loans, or grants and maybe get scholarships.

So what it means for the family, wife, husband, and children? It means downgrading, like they have to cut down almost everything.  The couple might not have time to do some of those extra things like going to the movies regularly, or some other special treats. They might now see them as luxury. It is a big change for the kids too. They might not be getting all they want or almost all they want anymore, they have to adjust to the life of "it's all we have for now" they will start to learn that nothing comes easy and also learn the importance of hard work. It means the parents get off their high horses and do menial jobs. Something they thought they signed away with their degrees or masters or even PHDs (from their home countries). Remember, many of them are back in school upgrading and working full-time to support themselves and families. So they are starting their lives over again.

Around the time of upgrading, they face challenges. The experience can be very frustrating, remembering who who they were and what they have to settle for now can be very frustrating. Sometimes, people wonder why they even moved :( ... Believe me or not, older adults face more challenges in school than we younger people do.  The weather and culture are huge influences too.....   Also, oh oh! one huge thing is they start to do everything I MEAN EVERYTHING themselves. No drivers, no house-helps, no "typists," no laundry man or woman lol. They do it all themselves  (remember that most immigrants were more than comfortable. They could afford these things plus in developing countries, labor is relatively cheap).

But at the end they will be fine if they keep holding on. The key is to never to stop trying. At least, look for something to do, get some sort of upgrade, talk to the right people, cut off all luxuries and because you worked hard for your money, be prudent and wise with spending.

Usually, once they get a first job after upgrading, things start to fall in place. Whether or not this happens tho, the opportunities they open for their kids is the deal. These kids will have almost no restrictions. Thank God they learnt the importance of hard work from their parents.

So yes, it is not all milk and honey, it is not as easy as people think. And for every cent they make they earned!!!  (no-one in this country gives you money for free), so yes, it is sometimes hard to give. It is more annoying sending money back home and hearing it wasn't used wisely.  But people away from home usually remember home so no matter what they still like to give a hand :)

However, all of these costs come with benefits, depending on where you live and how you think, the life style can be very simple (if you make it be), there are lots and lots of opportunities for you and partner and your children especially career-wise. But don't be deceived, it is not all black and white. If you are ready to tear down your house and build a castle then migrating is for you. If not, enjoy your already wonderful life with all your cleaners, and drivers, and special treatments (I miss the house-cleaner part sha X_X)

BTW: If you have a parent, or relative living abroad who just moved (my definition of just moved is anything under 6 years). Please think deeply before using their money to do "am the boss" at home. They won't tell you what they are going through and you prolly won't believe them. Just be wise please.

Have a wonderful week ahead y'all

Abi Tobi

Thursday, November 17, 2011

Don`t go looking

I don`t know if I have written this before.... but I think I should address an issue. I seem to meet many young people who `go about looking for a relationship` .... I mean, who dream and dream everyday about being with someone who loves them, like making it almost the purpose of their existence. I know it is a wonderful thing and feeling when you meet a special person who feels same as you, but one thing you shouldn`t is `go looking`

Why not?
  • It looks very thirsty, like you would settle for anything or anyone, and you begin want a relationship not the person. 
  • Especially for girls, you get too carried away when a crush is around that you don`t do you
  • You forget that you can make friends with the opposite sex. Every man or woman that becomes friendly with you will become interested in your eyes. People want to meet new people, people want to make friends.  If it turns out they like you good BUT don`t assume
  • you might start to forget how special and loved you are
  • You might start to settle for less.. there`s nothing wrong with bending the rules but not completing putting them off... Let people work to have you, then you can work to keep them
  • You might forget or decide not to pray about it

 What to do?
  • Have an open mind
  • Go out and have fun. Make friends. I hate it when I go out and people start to get snobbish to others. Like if you want to be ``high and mighty`and sexy. Stay home. If you wanna have a party, talk and, or dance with people. 
  • Don`t forget who you are and what you want
  • Remember that not every girl or guy that flirts with you wants you. You might be fun to flirt with  or might be good at it too :)
  • Recognize an opportunity. If you like him or her and can tell they do too, give it a try
  • Be mature about things.. Don`t try to justify everything or give an excuse for everything
  • Don`t go into a relationship for its sake. It will make you unhappy. --- be in touch with what your heart and head are telling you
  • Don`t ignore a potential good relationship for the wrong reasons either. Your friends or family won`t be in it with you.
  • Pray about it 
  • Have an open mind
  • Don`t forget who you are and your standards

The last three, first and 3rd are very important.

Much Love,
Abi Tobi

Friday, November 11, 2011

Updates :)

Feels like I abandoned my blog :( NO! I did :'(... I have been crazy busy for the past months.... I will say I have had busier semesters but this one sucks my time in a way I can't explain

How are you all doing? I am very well... learning day by day...  If you remember a few months ago I was crying about the ugly breakouts that refused to leave lol... well, they are clearing up!

What I have been doing/I do?

  • I stopped using my foundation, threw out all my face-care products.. well, the pimples (or irritation) became painful and hard but I needed time to figure it out
  • I called my friend who is a sales rep for MaryKay.. I got the 3 in 1 TimeWise cleanser for sensitive skin, the blemish control (toner) and the MarKay foundation
  • Then I used the washer and toner every morning and night
  • I also got Vichy facial scrub that I use once in a while (it's cheaper --- go figure!)
  • I have seen huge improvements. I stopped the toner about 2 months ago and I still see positive results
  • I break out more when am stressed or when it is my time of the month but they fade out quickly
  • I moisturize so my skin isn't too dry :)

Please stay tuned to my next blog post am writing about the "realities of an immigrant" or "what people don't know about immigrants" or "the covered truths of immigrants" (not sure of what to call it yet) basically about people who LEGALLY moved from say a 3rd world country to a strong economic country like Canada.

After that I will write about other reasons people prefer to wait till marriage before having sex, its benefits and how difficult it might be

Friday, October 14, 2011

What's the media doing to YOU?

how is everyone doing?  I have been soo busy since school started, that's why I have been  MIA

Anyways, this morning, one of my friends posted something on facebook posted below 

I wouldn't lie that the media hasn't affected me one way or the other. it's one of the reasons why I check up on my make-up and hair like every 3 hours or why even though am skinny, I worry that am getting fat or my bum is growing too big. It's one of the reasons why as a girl, your parents won't trust you, or believe you why they believe you are definitely doing wrong and why your brothers can do what they like. It's why some boys walk up to you and say crap... why they get soo rude the first time they meet you.

It's the reason why many girls believe sexy= slutty ... that they have to show ALL the skin to get attention. It works sometimes cuz media has shaped both the female and male brains to this. It's why sex sells soo soo fast! and  why every 3rd person on my twitter account tweets sex like all the time. It's why people believe that to keep their relationships, they have to have sex and soon too... look at those movies. they make u believe that if a man isn't trying to sleep with you after the first 3 dates, he is prolly gay or not interested. It's why people still believe men are smarter, more in control and women are softer and too emotional. it's why some random 17 year old will say "oh, yeah, women prefer to driven around they don't wanna drive".... 

The list goes on.  

well... the media affects us in a lot of ways especially a technology crazy generation like ours. God did not create women to be slaves or subordinates, he did to complete men... without a woman there can NEVER be a man. it's the truth. God created women to help, to fill in all the spaces the man can't, to be the manager, to multi-task, to complete not to be a slave. the media mostly says the woman is there for sex and to look good. That wasn't God's idea and I definitely don't support the "background" image.

 Let's try to filter what we take in, control what we watch, see and listen to.. the media has a lot of good but  be careful not to be blind to the negative effects. it has shaped our generation's thinking process to a particular direction that might affect us greatly in future

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

What did I get myself into?

"look at him, all fat and annoying" arrgh! how did I get myself into this? how did I end up with him? okay, he isn't fat or anything.. he just lost the spark, I don't know why I get irritated by him. Last night he came home with a new necklace for me hoping it would make me smile. Argh! NO! It's really not about gifts or money... It's something more....

You will call me selfish but yes, maybe I am... I really don't know why I am angry. He tries to make it work, he does everything he could but he is missing the point; the whole point.

I can't leave him, am in love with him, I absolutely am... He just irritates me these days, he got too careless, too confident... because he knows I won't leave. I remember when we met, before we got married about 5 years ago. We always had those movie nights, and we would go dancing once in two weeks. And we surprised each other all the time. It was like my fairy tale. Our fairy tale He had a drive wanted to be on top of things without controlling me, very understanding, and treated me like an egg even when his friends were there. I felt like a princess.. That's who I feel in love with, that's why I ended up with him.

I don't know what happened, he changed.. okay, not completed, but I miss the man I fell for. Now, he wants me to do things his own way, he thinks he knows better. I never signed up for this. I know he will never hit me or make me forcefully do anything that will harm me or that won't make me happy. But I just want to make my own decisions and think things through before he chips in his opinions. Okay, I would give credit to him tho, he is usually right and that makes me jealous. yes, am selfish.

and now, he has his friends come over eat my darn food and leave our darn house untidy..... he used to prevent them from messing up the house.. he knows how I get with these things... me and untidy don't stay in the same room... they get soo noisy and even tho he knows am studying for my exam in my last year in med school he doesn't consider it..

He used to dress-up for me... okay not DRESS-UP .... but look good, take his time to wear that nicely tailored shirt when we went out as a couple... that's all gone now (n) he seems too busy for me...

all of our special nights of treats are gone... he seems to busy for me... he seems tooo busy planning  both our lives instead of allowing us plan it... last week, he talked about us trying for a baby and ofcos am not ready. I don't think we have the resources to take good care of a child yet.. Like, my kids have to get the best of everything... paying student loans, and just starting our careers.. how can we afford it?

I love my baby... see, I can't help but call him baby... I know he does too and I know if we came back in our next lives, I would pick him over and over again... I just miss him... I just want him to realize that we need that spark again... Marriage doesn't have to be boring, I don't want to grow old too young... How can I make him see this?

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

I want to

Soak myself in a hot tub, 1 hour or more drinking cocktails and strawberries..... drinking my stress away

Get myself all the things I don't deserve (diamonds, stocks, dresses, shoes, stocks) everything 

I want a treat at the spa.... my muscles feeling relaxed....

I want to get that job I don't qualify for, get those marks I hardly earned (which is hardly true) I work for every darn mark/cent and more

I want to travel away.. somewhere with warmth and fresh air with laughter and love all around

For people to understand me... okay, not really... I careless

I just want to be ontop, want my hard work to earn me something valuable.... I want to be glad I tried not regret I did in the first place.. 

I want to be stress free ......  just want all these stress out 

Monday, September 19, 2011

Justifying Rape??

Twitter! Twitter! Twitter! it's one of the lame-est things I am involved with... okay, not really, it's just some of the people.  Before now, some people seemed pretty cool until I read how they view the world and in amazement I have my jaw dropping. It's sad mostly because I know 97% of people I follow in real life and sometimes argh!

Okay, why am I sooo "touchy" ? what's biting me, right?  what I read on twitter this morning was just the height!!!!  The news I read about a Nigerian student who got raped by 5 guys and some people on twitter trying to justify it, saying things like "some girls deserve to be raped,"  "you know, it is sometimes the girl's fault" or "how can she dress like that and not expect it?"

oh really? like seriously it's sooo sad that educated people in this age and time still want to justify something sooo wrong. I am just too weak to even argue. I just feel unsafe with the mentality of many Nigerian men and it is even worst that some girls/women agree with them, it is almost like they have a portion of their brains replaced with grass or something. And then, they share videos and laugh about it .. how is it funny? like what the hell is funny about putting sooo much pain on another?

Many victims are already ashamed of the situation, why should people make them feel like it's their fault. I will say it again and again... anyone who forces another to have sex is a dog and deserves to be castrated whether or not he believes that it is  the victim's fault.  Like I said I am too weak to argue or explain.

rape is a crime and punishable by law... some people get life imprisonments so don't get it twisted! I still don't understand why castration is not the punishment yet tho...  Silly minded individuals trying to justify the pain and emotional trauma imposed on others.

*breathes out* lol

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Quando Quando Quando

It's another song by Micheal Buble ..

Well, he re-sang the song it was originally sung by Engelbert Humperdinck but I really love the song with Micheal Buble's voice ...

Enjoy :)

Quando, Quando, Quando"

Tell me when will you be mine
Tell me quando quando quando
We can share a love divine
Please don't make me wait again

When will you say yes to me
Tell me quando quando quando
You mean happiness to me
Oh my love please tell me when

Every moments a day
Every day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more
Tell me quando quando quando
Say its me that you adore
And then darling tell me when

Every moments a day
Every day seems a lifetime
Let me show you the way
To a joy beyond compare

I can't wait a moment more
Tell me quando quando quando
Say its me that you adore
And then darling tell me when

Whoa lover tell me when
Oh darling tell me when
Oh come on tell me when
Yea tell me when 

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

PLEASE HELP ME :( ... I want my skin back :'(

I could cry right now... my so beautiful skin is changing and really bad too; I really don't know how it began or what am doing wrong... I think am typing exactly as I would speak about it am soo sad :(  .. This is a plea for help, seriously, I just want to get my skin back

It started when I started applying foundations-- so like in 2008 or so, but it was okay not bad still. Break-outs came (like 1-3 small ones) from time to time but my foundation covered it all up. I used to use the:
  • Maybelline Mineralized foundation.
I don't remember reacting to it at all... I still had a moderately good-facial skin. Then in 2009, I think November or December I started with
  • Mac
I changed because eventhough Maybelline was good, it was really messy, I hate that it used to stain my table and carpet (sometimes)  and that was just stress... People mentioned that Mac suited them really well and all so I deeped in. Oh yeah, that's when I started breaking out but I could cover it up, my face did not feel discolored or anything of the sort... I broke out more in seasons, like during pms and all. And I could deal with it.

In December 2010, I got this make-up box from a friend ( a good friend btw). It has all eye-shadow colors, blushes of different colors and all.. It was like a whole new world lol... since it is one of those things I won't buy but admire, I got really creative. I used colors, applied the blushes from time to time and all of that. I loved it!

But in February 2011, my skin began to fail ... like I was breaking out a lot and it was no longer seasonal. It was like all month-round. I began to panic. I shouldn't have. I wish I thought about what might have triggered it all... so I started asking around. People recommended  St. Ives, Vichy, Clean and Clear, some Natural skin care products and even Black soap... one at a time I tried almost alll of these products but It got worse...

Now I complicated issues because I really don't know what exactly my skin hates, all I wanted was to get rid of everything *sigh*  Oh I switched from Mac Studio fix to the Mineralized Mac in April. My facial skin is pretty oily, I talked to one of the people at Mac and she recommended it, it was okay, I even think there was an improvement. I  was using it with the black soap.. so I washed my face with the soap and applied my foundation.

But in May/ June my face became an explosion like people started asking me what was wrong :( ... It got really bad and the scars won't go *sigh* So I stopped it all. stopped everthing. I threw out the black soap. Stopped applying the foundation. Though I hated what my skin looked like I went out that way except for very very few occasions tho. This went on for like 2-3 weeks. But I had no improvement, it became worse.... at this point I was done!

So natural products din't work, and the best products did not either soo I called up my friend who is a MaryKay Beauty Consultant. And she advised on products. I started using MaryKay in June I think and I got the washer, toner and foundation ... I would admit that there has being some improvement... But it's not steady, it would look really good today and in 3 days I ll see a big pimple or new ones developing. Then early this month, I had food allergies all over my body including my face. They don't know what I reacted to. I did a blood work and I am absolutely fine.. all they said was it's something I ate.

and also, I was my face morning and night and I moisturize it too....

Am soo tired... I never used to have break-outs and I hate that it's stressing me out. Please I need serious help. I need my beautiful skin back like seriously. Right now, I have like 3 new big painful pimples on my face.. will post a picture sometime....

CAN SOMEONE HELP ME PLEASE??? AS ANYONE GONE THROUGH THIS? I think it all started from the blushes but apparently my face doesn't accept creativity very well... it created on me instead :( ...

Again, this is a plea from a tired sister looking for her beautiful skin :(

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Drop the Rules ...

I fell in Love with Chris Brown after his Say Goodbye song. Dude is like a bunch of talents in a box. lol... I feel my love rekindling every time I watch the video lol *covers face*

 am sick of it all
 Love songs; cheese and cliches;
 Stories of heart breaks and pains
 Quiet for a bit
 let me hear myself speak

 No more sweet beautiful lies
 Let reality speak
 Let me feel fresh breeze on my face

 SShh... am sick of it all
 Let me hear myself think
 Let me hear you in my heart
 Stop the rules,
 They torment

 Start as friends
 and let things flow
 On the way,
 you will figure it out...

(... P.S. this is really not personal...  I just want a happy song that doesn't have a love story lol... love can't be as sad as many people paint it, and it can't be as perfect as the rest dress it up to be... It has two sides, and there is the balance... ) 

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Please Pay Attention

If you have never been depressed, or don't know what it is like to feel hopeless, stop judging those who are there or who have been. The least you can do is give a hand and be there, or least pray for them. I know my culture (the Nigerian culture) thinks depression is a joke, or some mental disease. It keeps people in denial, people are afraid to accept it and find a way out. This particular write-up is not going to be organized, it will be all over the place, just pick out what you can.

In some of our communities, people might laugh when someone starts acting cold and withdrawn, they are like "she is going crazy" or "she dey kolo just leave am" ... Hells no! That's not the time to leave it is the time to show as much love as you can. I understand that it's hard to keep coming forth to some1 who shuts you out but the lil' things like calling to "check on them" and praying for them helps. We NEED to wake up and start reading in between the lines, if someone who was lively, happy etc just begins to act weird it's depression or might be entering depression 101. So pay attention, if you are one of those who thinks depression is a joke wake up, and pay attention. One of the reasons why more people are commiting suicide in our communities is because we take these things for granted, people around are not paying enough attention. Am not saying they don't care, but people need to pay more attention.

Anytime, I hear the song 'Hello World' by Lady Antebellum I get a lil' teary.... It explains how someone can feel soo hopeless, or can't find a way out but still takes the courage at the peak of all the challenges to move on, and to press on. It touches me every time because at this point, the person is letting it all out to God, telling him to take control after trying too-hard to figure it out. It's not the point where things  are turning around, or when things seem like they will be fine, as I mentioned it's the peak of it all... but it is a start of a new thing. Changing the mindset goes a long way. It's appreciating those little things that we take for granted when it seems like the clouds have gone black...  when we "feel cold as steel broken like we are never gonna heal".... I believe it's strength, some people might even call you crazy, how can any sane human being with his/her life crumbling see light in the dark? believe that God is there and he would answer? especially when it feels like he shut his ears on you. It's hard. It is really hard! But I believe that's the start of everything new, I believe this kind of strength is power, gives God and you a control over your life.... seeing life through the positive even when it's serving you pain. It gives you power over those challenges, it is the point where they stop controlling you, and you start controlling them. It makes you think of a better way out. It allows you to allow God do his work. Remember "You shouldn't tell God how big your problem is, tell the problem how BIG your GOD is" ....

I don't know if this means anything to anyone tho, and I don't know if it's making sense, but like I explained in the beginning it isn't organized, most things I write are usually pre-planned in my head (at least). This wasn't. I just want us all to wake up read between the lines, reach out to friends, families, acquaintances or even "haters" that might be in  this situation. Don't go and tell them "you r depressed" lol, but show more love.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Kele Kele Love

I read Giagerry 's Kele Kele Love post and the post just made me laugh! With that and Tiwa Savage's song it makes you think..  people and their ways ehh?

so am gonna act like am naive and ask you guys. This time y'all will entertain me and I will be taking notes from you :p

Sooo...  what is your definition of kele kele love? what are the signs? I know you should flee.. trust me I have also had my fair share of it and it's not a bit fun or funny (until after the fact lol)

Is it only men/boys that "do" kele kele love? are women/girls users of it? say all you wanna say..

You can give examples and soo on.. ..


Saturday, August 13, 2011

Please Don't Leave Me!!

"Eric, Don't leave me, please don't go away, please you are all I have.. please"  She cries her eyes out and pleads as she lifts up her head to him clinging to his pants. He had done everything for her, but she just wants this chance... this very last chance to change, to turn around. He looks at her with anger but love in his eyes and at the top of his voice, "look at what you have done to yourself, I never wanted it like this.. I wanted more" He did not know how to feel anymore, a part of him wants to give her a hug. Wants to assure her that she will never be alone. The other part is totally fed-up. How can any sane man take all of these? How possible is it?

Eric works with J.P. Morgan Chase. One of Wall Street's hottest firms. He came to share his good news, he just got a promotion. But no, it has never being a good news with Tricia. She had passed out again. Drugs. Her life is dictated by drugs.. it's almost like that's all she looks forward to. She only got out of rehab 4 months ago, and moved to her own apartment 3 weeks ago..

There she was (after gaining consciousness) crying again. Tricia is full of regrets and can't stop crying. He had warned her! he promised to leave the last time but gave her the supposed last chance. She deserves every bit of action he will give. She knows it. Tricia hopes her brother won't leave. Her brother who is 5 years younger than she is. He provides for her, and does everything he can for her. His wife is a blessing to humanity, unlike other women, she never stops calling, she never stops helping her out.. so yes, Tricia knows deserves every bit of action they were going to do this time. But she clings tighter as the thoughts of her brother leaving gets clearer. It was like a reality check

Eric and Tricia lost their parents in a car crash about 10 years ago. Eric was only 18, Tricia  was 23. Eric and Tricia are from a good home with responsible parents. They are both graduates, but Tricia found "love", that's when the story began to change... Ecstasy and Marijuana are their names... It started to get really bad about 5 years after they lost their parents...  she lost her job, her boyfriend of 6 years "realized" she wasn't the marriage type so she got into a depressive state and turned to drugs for rescue...

Eric wants to teach a lesson, one or two. One that will remind her that she needs to be willing to give all these away. Will the world blame him for leaving today? What if she over-doses after he leaves? what if it will be the reason she kills herself? BUT what if she never stops? what if she never parts with this dreadful relationship she has being sunk into?

Eric draws his sister close and gives her a tight hug as he tries to decide.....

*** I really don't know the right thing he should do... what will you do if you were in Eric's Shoes? leave? stay? some other way to make her "wake up?" ***

Monday, August 8, 2011

Why Now??

So I realise that I can go on and on and on about some topics or gists, but I get too sensitive to talk about the LOVE of Christ to people. Maybe too shy, maybe too scared. But it is no excuse. First of all, the number 1 reason why I want to tell people about HIM is because of them and no other reason. Especially those I am close to..

I thought of some of my closest friends, those who don't know Christ or do not even believe there is a God. And I felt like I have been somewhat selfish. If I truly love them, why haven't I found the courage to sow a seed in their hearts?? I say I care about them and I want the best of them, but I feel scared to let them in, in the only way I know. If there is anything I know for sure it is that most of these people let me in on their "tricks,"  why haven't I mine?

I think it is because I do not want them to feel like am imposing or as if am judging or like I know better than them. Those are definitely not my intentions.

I don't understand why I am just realizing these, I feel like I only just became born-again in April, 2011. That's how I feel.. like I was lying to myself all these time. Why am I just understanding what my mom has been reading to me all my life? or those messages that have been hammered in my heart all those days at Sunday School? I am beginning to understand why people need to be reminded that they are loved and there is someone up there they can call... who ALWAYS answers.... The other day, my parents where talking about someone my dad knew who killed himself. and my heart told me it's because we Christians are not doing enough. If someone knows for sure that God won't leave them, they won't kill themselves.

If you are Christians how do you start off telling others about Jesus? or do you even? do you have my excuses?

Anyways, here are few things to remember:
  • Mercy says NO! Mercy doesn't consider your sins, it comes  with grace. However, we should not continue doing those things that we ought not to. This is just a reminder that once you have confessed and you are repentant God has forgiven you and expects you to move on
  • Holiness is NOT religion!! Am tired of people being all religious like it's politics or some sort of science. NO!  It should be about your personal relationship with your creator and how you fellowship with him, grow in him, and grow to love him. Not about showing-it-off !!!... the bible says "let your light shine before men"... it never said let your lights shine in their eyes!!
  • We often forget to ask God what we can do for him. We go on and on asking him for how we can be better for own selves. Forgetting relationships go both ways

Friday, August 5, 2011

Bestie ...

Sometimes, I wonder how I stick with my bestie or how she manages to take all of my "attitude" but I love her anyways. She's like my family, like literally, her family is like mine and mine is like hers. When I tell my parents am out with her they are soo fine with it and same with her family too... If am not her chief bridesmaid I will definitely KILL her! lol, joking she has a sister, and we are all close like that...myself and her will be sharing that position lol.

It's funny how two very different people can be soo close, yet she thinks am soo much like her. HELLS-to-the- NO! lol

So lemme introduce you to one of the people who make my boring life a little bearable. Well this girl is a village girl (literally) lol am playing oh! but am serious lol. she's the life of a party and can make friends in an instance, the way she starts conversations just amaze me.. me there, thinking of how not to say awkward things.. she just starts flowing lol *smh* soo she makes most of the friends and introduces me to them :p  Am that friend who will sit by herself and her phone in a corner, and she is that friend who drags me out of my comfort zone. Like in my head am using all these curse words and pleading to be left alone... but then I end up having soo much fun. lol

She doesn't care about anything, she just laughs out loud (literally) lol, and 100% herself wherever, whenever and with whosoever! she will dance in the streets even if everyone laughed at her.. see I won't do these, am a bit shy, I get all oh-so-crazy in my room and with my really good friends... and once in a while when out or when she makes me :(  (bully).

When my friend is in love trust me, she is definitely in-love, she puts in everything to keep her man and to love him. Not for her but for him. I think it's cute. Again, am shy, I give subtle messages, I feel like I shouldn't be giving all of my heart away or at least not soo soon (am saying soon, cos I haven't really lasted in a longterm anything before :$) ; I like to take my time, and I won't say it has always worked for me lol. So yes, sometimes she coaches me when I "don't know how to reply or what to say" and scolds me when I "front or just act mean or do those things I shouldn't be doing to someone am actually interested in." I admit, am a bit selfish, and a lil' scared about certain things, but hey... !

And I can like to act like am mad sometimes lol. Because she will just beg me (heheehhehe) its vice versa don't worry. But there are times when am pissed and she tells me to "go hit ur head on an electric pole" lol. How nice right? So true, we are not scared of telling each other the truth about anything; we scold each other often and it usually helps when someone let's you know when you are crossing the line whether with your life, someone else's or with a situation.

My friend likes to feel like one "BOSS" sometimes tho, when she is sinking, or down or needs help, the girl will be telling me that she is fine. FINE MY FEET! I don't understand how someone won't just allow people to help her, she acts like she can handle it all by herself. I hope she doesn't crash and burn oneday with this her boss-acting behavior.

Am a bit blunt. When am really pissed or irritated you would know. It shows! lol.... Sometimes, I feel like my friend is scared to let whoever she's mad at that he/she crossed the line (apart from me oh! the girl will just change face as if No o, u farted in her mouth *hissss*) ... There is a particular person whose name I won't mention but lives not too far from our city that I wish I met face-to-face. That person deserves some blunt talk and attitude in the brains, from me and my friend's sister. But nah, we are more than that. But seriously, if I could have, I would have.

She lives life as it comes, sometimes I do too.. but I like to plan, like to have a rough sketch of the future... I sometimes want to relax and let things be but something in my head makes me plan

And we are in public and "gisting" "hot-gist" and my friend gets sooo excited that her voice just gets loud lol... I have given up telling her to reduce her voice *smh*

And when her and some of our other close friends are there, spending hours on wedding pictures and dreaming about theirs and like pfff....Why will I spend hours on pictures and hours on pictures and hours analyzing them??? *confused* BUT sometimes I, her and those other friends, dream dreams lol.... those dreams about hot guys, those ones that will love us and will write songs/sing for/to us (lol that's mine!) ... those with sexy accents and gorgeous bodies, and sexy cars and  good jobs and with hearts after God's....  that will love us die!  *sigh* *dreams away* (okay! am done dreaming) But we all dream those dreams together

I love my bestie and she's more like a sister to me, she pisses me off sometimes, and she can be bit tooo-out-going or carefree, and we irritate each other often. But I gotta admit, people like me need at least one of her lol...  It's never a dull moment trust me!


Saturday, July 30, 2011

Live it Loud

Hello Blog-lovers!! How are you all doing>??? I know I have been away for a while.. well, I have a busy life plus am lazy too lol.

If you follow me on twitter, or a friend on face book, or my friend in real life you are prolly tired of hearing about  the "Live It Loud" conference. It's a Redeemed young adults conference in Canada, and it runs for 4 days; young adults from various parts of Canada come together and bla bla... we learn, we have fun and we make new friends :D

So this year, it was absolutely wonderful. I danced like never before... met wonderful people and learnt a lot.. I also want a message bible (excuse you! I accept Summer gifts lol)...  Was soo good I din't feel like leaving I wish it ran for a few more days so but we all have lives outside of the program right?  *Sigh*

So here is to sharing a few things I learn't

  • Before you say "I DO" make sure you know what your primary responsibility will be in life. Apart from God, your new responsibility is to make sure (ENSURE) your partner is happy. Make sure you are ready to do anything right in your power to make them happy, grow and so on.. it's no longer about you it's about him or her. Now that's where I found the real definition of love. So, you want to make sure that he or she will do same for you. That he/she wants to ensure your happiness, growth, and that you are his/her primary responsibility (after God)

  • Never base your relationship with God on others' own relationship with him. Don't get me wrong, it's good to have a mentor, but at the same time you do not know what people do behind closed doors. The heart of man is very wicked and we need to be careful. When communicating with him use your own examples... like say "you healed me of headache, this is not too much for you." Don't say because your mentor decided to go "natural" you want to as well... lol., you are own your own o because when the "guys" stop coming err she won't help you o. Whatever you do let it be because of your relationship with God; between you and him not because of what other people are doing

  • Learn to forgive yourself, just soo you can move on. Sometimes, we just want to hit ourselves in the head because we messed up and we can't let go of it. Well, such is life, we all make mistakes.

  • Sometimes, because we do not forgive ourselves we  forget that God has forgiven us

  • Sometimes, God doesn't give us answers because we sorta kinda already know what he thinks of what we are doing. Like you know what I mean? Sometimes, he wants us to think about it and find an answer... 

  • There is sooo much talent within Nigerian Christian young adults in Canada. You have no idea how much. I was amazed
  • I had a wonderful time again :D 

                PLEASE PLEASE!! if  we know each other in real life. Do Not answer! :p Which one is me?????

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


Close your eyes
for a moment or two
Travel far away
Away from reality
to YOUR perfect world
That one that has all your dreams
Keep smiling.

Open your eyes
It's the real world
Reality won't always be your dreams
Truths don't lie
and reality never does...

We are lost in our dreams;
we dine, eat, and live in them
because reality is pain
too painful to bare...

... But it's real
we have to deal
Find a way out
out to where our dreams are
Or even something better...

with love,
Abi Tobi

Thursday, July 7, 2011


I hate watching my friends go through break-ups and it's funny how people somehow expect me to know what to say in certain situations when I really have no idea of what to say... First, because we are all different.. Second, because I don't wanna give the wrong advice... But here is my take on it.

well .... I have learn't that when people want to go, just let them go... see  there's no point holding on to someone who won't hold on to you. Almost everything to me is an investment, why would I keep investing in someone who would negate my returns??  ....So when my friend comes to me and says his/her lover wants to leave I tell them to let them go, I might be wrong but.. 

I sometimes feel like I have lost all the words... just as if I can't reach them or all d alphabets disappeared. I hate the tears... I just go ahead and give a hug because well.. I dunno.. I just want them to stop hurting...  

And I hate the "What's wrong with me?"  all I wanna do at this point is bitch slap them to wake up and remind them of how fab their life was... like we all had a life before someone walked in.. Some people will come in, you will love them, and they might hurt you... doesn't mean life has to stop....

And I hate the "I will never Love again"... arrggh!! really?? because you met one or two jerks doesn't make the rest of the people in the world jerks...  There are good men and women out there --they might be few but they are there... You might just have to kiss a number of frogs before you get to your Prince Charming or Cinderella. 

What I do is advice them to let go... if someone says they want to leave (when you know it's not your fault, and you feel like you are holding on too tight) let  him/her go.... The person probably isn't meant for you. .... If they are, they will come back. 

and then GO OUT!... 
Like take care of yourself, LOOK GOOD and SMILE, and have a good time.... it's hard for feelings to die, but when your ex isn't thinking about you no more, honey, you have to TRY to stop thinking about him/her (intimately) ... So, try to drag yourself out of your bed, go out to parties, or get-togethers, movies,  even girls' night outs ... am not suggesting meeting someone else immediately but you might need something to take your mind off it...

Break-ups hurt and they sometimes hurt really really bad (which sucks!) ... and I believe the first time is usually the most painful... I can't tell my own story on blogsville lol I was a lil' younger then but I learnt a lot from it, and I am somehow grateful it happened lol .... 

What other advice/what other ways do you use to help a friend going through a break-up, or how are you there for them? I find it hard to call and ask about it, I just talk about other things because I don't want them hurting from my "reminding" them.

IF you are going through a Break up
- Let the person go
- Look good 
- Please no depressing expressions (SMILE)
- Other people don't have to pay for what (s)he did.. but your experience should make you wiser in your decisions and choices
- Life Moves on
-  A HUG FOR YOU from me (lol)
-  Smile :) 

With Love,
Abi Tobi 

btw, this guy shares most of views.. he talks really fast and I love it lol ... enjoy

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

whatever You make it

Hey all! How is summer going?

Am pretty well, summer is very summer-ish.... EXCEPT for the mosquitoes in this city, o my gosh! they have finished me and am not even that fair but  I see pink all over  ughh!  Anyways, it's one of the very SERIOUS things that bother me :p

I was going through my facebook notes and I came across this note, I named it "Whatever you make it" ... I had posted it earlier today and then I deleted it .... but some people said they like it so I decided to re-post... I wrote in November last year..

Enjoy :)

"As I sat on my chair today, with a sip of drink, flow of thoughts run through my mind. My heart began to wonder; not balanced, not in place. I think of man. I think of other kinds of men. I look around me; I look around; I look into the heart of man through his eyes.

In some, I see joy and life. I see hope and a bright new day. I see them leaving their past, and moving on with a hope for tommorow.

 In others, I see agony and pain. I see deppression and darkness. I see lack of faith and hopelessness, i see tears and heart break. I see holding back and stagnancy. I see darkness and an empty heart.

And in some others what seems really dark and cloudy. With situations that tell them to give up, to stop breathing. But they don't give up! they walk heads and shoulders high like the breeze is fresh and relaxing.

And I look around me again, and see little children. A tender heart they have with forgiveness and genuine love.. With fear in their eyes but with belief that they can climb that mountain...

And in crawling babies; I see determination for they fall a thousand times but get up and never stop trying.

And I see life: as what you make of it
The ability to do wrong, learn your lessons and move on
To forgive yourself as well as others
To get up everytime you fall... to have a drive
To love; to love genuinely....."

Not Somebody Else

I wish words would explain
I wish words were enough
It's all the words that are unborn

I find myself in all directions
Like a confused little child
and even when I ask
I get unknown answers

I wish I could fly as high
Faar above the clouds
I might need a little push

I close my eyes
and take a trip away from reality
at those times,
my dreams lift my mood
They take me away from .... 

I pretend I feel no hurts
I love it when I act so well

And when I want to get crazy,
I wish nothing ever holds me back
Even though I need my head in check

I want to let myself go
But I find that I hold back
At other times,
My name is spontaneous

I want a perfect world
But I remind myself
that boredom might eat me up
Challenges need work

At all times,
I want to be myself
Maybe with little changes,
and maturity
that will make me better
But never to be somebody else

Enjoy this song :D

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Last Shall be the First

I don't know why my mind picks on a few words and just meditates on it. It feels like the only sentence I have been hearing for some weeks now is "The Last Shall be the First."  ....    I have heard this and even read myself in the bible soo many times, but it was on father's day at church. They showed a presentation where kids explained what they expected parents to do.
Soo one of the kids said "To teach me that the last shall be the first".. felt like I only just heard it for the 1st time. ... like it only just became clear to me...

It's all about me
And everything I own
And the things I have built,
only I can control and enjoy

I see desperation in her eyes
But I don't have to be there
I know I have the answer to his prayers
But I have a choice to withhold
Am not hurting anyone, but I worked for this

It all came crashing
All my hands had built
And when I looked around
My world was cold and empty
Hunger wouldn't kill me
Tears won't drown me
Then I remember a lady once said
"..and the First Shall be The Last"

I turned around and saw a friend
Was a friend.
His life was crumbled too
But you could hardly tell
New doors were opening
His life was taking form again

I had laughed at him
He was "too nice"
Almost always there
A helping hand,
and a giving heart

And again I remember that lady saying:
" .. And the Last Shall Be The First..."

But those we saw on our highs
Are those who see us now;
from their highs.
And I remember that lady saying:
" .. And the Last Shall Be The First..."

So here I am
Wishing I had put others first
At least, sometimes....

Abi Tobi

 Btw.. my friend has this idea to write a story by as many people as possible on her blog. So U will be writing the story too. It already started, You have to read what others have posted, it's supposed to be fun, interesting but PG13 PLS (LOL)

Soo If you are interested visit: Giagerry at:   http://geeconnect.blogspot.com/2011/06/story-by-blogsville.html  
have fun posting. 

Currently Listening to:

Give me everything-        Pitbull
Good to you-                 Marianas Trench
Today-                           Kirk Franklin
Just a Kiss -                   Lady Antebellum
Cowboy Casanova-       Carrie Underwood 

and am leaving you with Cowboy Casanova :) 

Thursday, June 23, 2011

time to Dump Him???

soO I was at work listening to the radio and this girl emails saying:

".. Hi, I love my boyfriend, but I can't stand his stinky smell... He has long greasy hair and doesn't shower enough.....  I feel embarrassed when I walk into a restaurant with him.. feels like the waitress can smell him..."

And the radio presenter gave some cool advice like; get him some gifts that help, like a shower gel, some perf, etc.. the best of all the advices was "DUMP HIM AND DATE A METRO SEXUAL"

YEP? nOpE?

hahahaha! That made me laugh I dunno why.... Well, I don't mind a metro sexual tho... okay there are two types. There is the first group. They have a good sense of color, they don't mind going shopping, not scared of wearing colors like pink or purple or orange.. might not be too in touch with designers but have a good sense of fashion... If I see no "gay tendencies" it's okay. There is nothing wrong with a man who likes to look good, and who can give me fashion tips (just saying...)

YeSS? NoO?
Then ther's the other group OMG! They are very very into themselves; and prolly take more pictures than I do (ha! I can like to pose sometimes o) .. They are same as the first group but more... they might even use mascaras and nail hardeners (I just can't) prolly spend more time dressing up than me (I JUST CAN'T) , very tanned, hair always gelled or stands etc ... etc ....I dunno...  

Sooo ladies would you date a metro sexual?? Guys what do u think?  amm sure everyone knows who a metro sexual is but to be clear they are STRAIGHT! "a heterosexual man who spends a lot of time and money on his appearance and likes to shop" (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/metrosexual) ...

.Currently listening to  "Give me Everything" by Pitbull ft. Neyo ..


Wednesday, June 15, 2011


She stares right at me
Her eyes piercing like she reads me
I disagree: but in my heart
I know she lies NOT

Lies or truths
I can't even tell
But she whispers to me
making guilt eat me up

But I haven't said anything,
not done anything,
Just looking right back

I look closely, and...
She's me; my reflection
She speaks my mind

I said nothing
But fear is here again
Is it time to run again?
I don't want to...

But.... It's attractive
Is it safe? Is it right?  
Not really; my mind says no
but... It is just interesting, exciting,
absorbing, adventorous...

But guilt is here
She whispers:
" will you stay? "
I say:
" time will tell.. I have no answer.."

**BTW* aside from the fact that the picture helps to explain the poem, I LOVE  LOVE this shade of lipstick and nail polish :P**

Monday, June 6, 2011

Tara's Darkness

..... what type of punishment is this? Tara thinks to herself... She has been locked in her room for 3 days now, no access to sunlight except for the rays from her room, her cell-phone and computer taken away.. She came home at 9.15pm on Thursday night (15 mins after her curfew)... and this is her punishment.

As she hears keys shuffle in the key hole she shivers, her lunch is here... her heart begins to race. This isn't new to Tara, this is an example of her dad's perfect "discipline." Tara is a 16 year old girl who is (miraculously) full of life. She's the only child of her parents and her mom left when she was 5. Her dad is all she knows and he never really told her why mom left; he says; " she just got tired."

Tara pushes her food to the side and can't stop thinking about this prison she calls a home. She began to wonder why her mom left... did she get beaten, raped, financially or emotionally abused too? Tara gets a flash-back to when she got into a fight at school (she was 12). The "popular" girls tried to cheat her and she taught them a lesson. News got to her father. And.......

...... Dad called her to his room to explain what happened; with the usual ritual he said calmly "well, you know you are going to get punished" Tara never knows what her next punishment would be; it is usually something new.  He took a drive out and came back with two skanky looking women. Tara's punishment was to watch. Another time, he forced her... she cried and begged but the slaps just kept getting worse. He raped her.

No one knows what she secretly goes through. Her dad is financially well-off. Tara is more than financially comfortable. She gets some weekly allowance, some money to shop, goes to a prestigious high-school.. and so on...... It's the punishments she doesn't understand. Why not ground her, or take away her phone for a week or something... ??

They moved to British Columbia from Mexico when Tara was 7. Dad barely keeps a long-term friend; in fact, he usually comes back from work  and then to work again. His regulars  are work-parties and cocktails.

Tara is part of a dance group at school, she is also on the volleyball team. Dad has never missed any of her performances or games... He is always there.  So see, everything is fine so far Tara doesn't "go wrong."

.... ...   Tara sometimes thinks of running away but where to? She thinks of talking to someone but she loves her dad; though he appears to be a monster sometimes.. and even when she wants to hate him, she just can't. .. "well it's only 2 years before I go away for College" she thinks...
But what happens before then?

Saturday, June 4, 2011

A lil' bit of ...

Uncurling and crawling out
New day it is...

It's a morning race
hearts in the mouth
tick, tack tick tack.... "am not gon' be late"
the "hallelujah" song... the bus din't leave

Morning smiles
Stinks that kill
The grumpy and the talker
cute little kids
School children in;
Naive; secret is out
loud (unnecessary) laughs......
..........trip downtown

well dressed..
"koi koi" ladies make silent noises
honks.... honks.... "move away, can I drive in!!"
morning breeze, fresh coffee
bakery smells......
The crowd; everyone trying to race
but keeping their "cool"
......Mornings downtown...

Okay, okay, let's all snap out of it.....it's not like I live in downtown Paris, or Montreal or Manhattan lol.. I live in Edmonton, and for those who that know where that is; it's in Alberta.. and Alberta is in Canada lol.... But I love it here I love the not soo "crazy" downtown/ life here ... Might be wondering why am all "downtown-ing" Well, I just completed my 2nd week at my co-op placement (or internship position) and I love it already.. I get the opportunity to do some writing, some accounting work, learn about social policy ..etc.... so ya, am excited to learn :D

hmmm.... I had been searching for a placement for about 8 months and trust me I had given-up when I got this offer.. and it's like God was secretly working it out for me *sigh* .. .. the morale of my story is never give-up, never ever stop praying or believing in God ... in his time he makes all things beautiful :)

I also wanna say I love blogsville and thanks to everyone who comes here to read mine and for those who keep me occupied with their amazing stories, or poems, points of view etc.. luv ya all....  Well, am still very happy and should say peaceful (it's a new thing). I think it's because am slowly discovering and loving who God is....

Some of the songs I am loving loving loving ATM :)

Simple Plan  - Jet Lag
Usher        --  More
I was here  -- Lady Antebellum
S & M      --  Rihanna
Adele         -- One & Only
Chris Brown-  Greatness
Chris Brown-  She ain't You
Kirk Franklin-  Give me
Kirk Franklin-  I smile

BTW.. I was gon' leave y'all with the video of  S&M but errrr that video (no comments)
so it's More and DJ got us falln' in love (Enjoy :)  )

Saturday, May 21, 2011

na me dull pass!

soo hmm.... I met this guy somewhere one time; when he tried to have a simple convo with me but (with people who know me well) I was all over the place, din't really care at that moment and wasn't in that "convo" mood. Anyways, I went out one weekend and lo and behold! I saw him there looking FINE as Trey Songz (lol, okay; am exaggerating too much-- he is just there). He looked same as the first time except this time, I was in the mood to have a decent convo.

Anyways, I was with my bestie all night and his table was to the far right of ours; she told me he was stealing glances at me from time to time; I was too (hoping that he won't catch me lol) but our eyes met once or twice lol..... My friend kept telling me to go say hi but honestly, I was shy and just slow lol. I was shy, I was like errr and say what? so that when I go "have met u before" he goes "Okay" and all we will both hear are cricket noises?? NO THANKS! loool I din't want him to start thinking I was errr I dunno the word  and I dunno; I don't know the last time I was all "errr...." short of words

hmm... as I was dulling, this girl I know (who has/had no idea about my prey (lol) ) went up to him; they danced and I saw them talking (lool; I wasn't looking :|  ) .. and he asked for her number....

So yes! na me dull pass! I feel somehow; I still don't know the right word for the "somehow" and slow is definitely in the definition ....

Now I should insert that "Should've kissed you" video by Chris Brown... I will just change the kissed to "said hi to" am pained sha and I caused it...  Feels like I took my heart and broke it lol (okay, it isn't that serious) but am pained sha



I have been really happy these days and I really don't know why....  and I need a theme song for this feeling soo if you have suggestions please let me know :D....

So backgrounds; hmmm I grew up in an average middle class Nigerian family. But I have been blessed. My parents always provide all I need and almost all I want. So I can say am spoiled (a little bit).. I won't say I have really experienced "wanting" (except for situations when I decide not to let them know-- like suffering in silence). But then again I am blessed because I know sometimes; even when things are hard, they will still go out of their way to make sure am happy and I don't feel out of place in the midst of my friends or mates: hence, the reason am not a demanding person; I think instead of taking advantage of the situation; it disciplined me.

I went to an all girls' day and boarding school; where girls made other girls feel out of place. I don't know where we all got our mentality from; that one that says: "pple who are not as wealthy can't be healthy with me" but we all lived in that light. Maybe not completely but one way or the other we did.  I watched my mates lie about what they did not have just to feel like part of the crowd, and I heard of some who cried their lungs out so they could take expensive and fantasy things to school. Back then, I laughed at all these people and thought they were stupid. I also watched the privileged look down and make some other girls feel like rats.   

But really, I don't think this will ever end; in high school, students will always make other students feel "uncool" some will do silly things to be "cool." see, we were all really young and naive maybe silly too ... But now, most of us are in university, and some are done... and the thing is; these "levels" thing has not ended.. it's like the older some people get the stronger the attitude gets. like WOW! talk about "growing up"

So it's not like before coming into this world we made some sort of arrangement with God like:  "Yo! Lord, I want to be born in that poor home" or "God, you know how we do! that multi-billionaire gotta be my dad"
like seriously, do we??

We all know that anyone's status can change in a twinkle of an eye.. like the saying goes "no-one knows tomorrow" Why make others feel less? why terrorize others because you are blessed with wealth... One thing is God blesses people to be a blessing not to be terror ... and he can decide to take it all away and give it to someone who will manage it better.

We should all be careful tho.. money isn't everything: and that you have it today doesn't mean you will tomorrow. That you are up there today doesn't mean you won't need those under you someday.

With LOVE,
Abi Tobi

BTW, am a big fan of Chris Brown .. listen to the song below : D